I guess I am not after advice, I just want to vent and have someone listen to me and not look at me like I am the most horrible person in the world. Is it allowed? Is is wrong? To hate sibling!! Am I the only one who holds so much anger and resentment towards a sister? Well, I do and I feel like I am a terrible person because of it. Everything always goes her way, no matter what terrible thing she does. Cheating on and lying to her partner, cheating the government, treating her children differently and only really paying attention to the youngest, constantly slagging off her partner to whoever will listen, yet they are still together and having baby no 7. My parents say she can do what she wants it's her life, blah, blah, blah! Me single mum, try so hard to be a good honest person, but nothing ever goes right for me. My daughters dad, doesn't want her, I struggle financially and with my sanity sometimes I think! I really want another child - not alone of course, but I cannot find a man and my parents always tell me that what is wrong with only having 1 child. How do I stop the resentment? Can I stop it! Are there any other mummies out there who kind of have the same feelings towards a family member? I know I am a good person, but sometimes it doesn't feel like it. Sometimes I want to run away with my child so I can live my life sibling free.
9 Replies
I'm sorta in the same boat...long story short,my older sister was & still is my mother's "golden child"- I don't really exist to her & my sister says she only has 1 younger sister,not 2----it used to fill me with hatred & resentment like you wouldn't believe,but I found that it was doing no good- that anger & resentment was consuming me & hiding my inner beauty----my advice,try not let it consume you- you are an amazing mum, live your life for you & your child...forget all the drama surrounding your sister & look towards your future,before long you will find happiness- stay strong & be positive :)
Yes I hear you. I have a sister who thinks she is so much better because her husband owns his own business. We use to be extremely close, but they stopped when her husband started to be really rude and would belittle me in front of everybody to be funny. Yet my sister would never tell him to stop. She got pissed off because I got pregnant before her. , told me I was not allowed to tell anyone I was pregnant at her wedding , tried to kick me off of her wedding party because apparently going away 3 days after her wedding was an inconvience to her. She has also told me I need to get over the fact my daughter has a life long disease, yet got the shits when I didn't contact her about her daughters broken leg,
The biggest thing that stopped me from talking to her is, she's sat there and criticized my parenting on how I wrap my daughter in cotton wool , I'm too strict. Yet her kids are always in trouble , always hurting each other.
Gawd half of this could have been written about my own sister !!!! When I was diagnosed with a life limiting medical condition her response was to "invite me for coffee".. The purpose was to tell me in a public place that when I die she would NOT be taking care of my children who she's also God mother for, her intention was that she would track down my ex and send them off to him "cause they aren't my kids".
Our father has just spent 7 wks in hospital, she would visit every day (as would I), she took his keycard and pestered him til he gave her his pin number. she decided I didn't need to know when he was receiving blood transfusions but when the hospital rung me because she wouldn't answer her phone she became very abusive and angry that they dare ring me instead of her and wanted to know how many times they had called me and not her. When it came time for him to come home it was left to me alone to clean his entire house up, it took a 3cubic metre skip and three days by me and two of my friends to clean his space out. My sister refused to come help.
I was a teenage mother and when my son was 8mths old I scored a good fulltime government job, but to her she couldn't believe it, she accused me of "pretending to be ATSI" on my application???? She wouldn't believe that I was able to get a good job as I'm the family "screw up".
My dad cries saying he wants us to get along, I tell him that I've tried and tried and tried but she shuts me out (unless she wants to go out on a date then she asks me to babysit her son, but will not take her mobile and comes home usually 2hrs past when she says she would be). She bad mouthed her husband to no end while stealing 50-60k of his money (he took a job overseas to set the family up) then when his contract ended and he came home she decided she would be "better off financially if she divorced him cause she could get half his super and half his reduancy" while keeping her inheiritance.
She's lost a lot of her long time friends and now hangs out with bitter divorced women who want to go out and about on the town slutting around, but that's not because of her, she's never done anything wrong.
All my friends who also know my sister all can't understand how we are related, I'm family orientated, love my kids parents etc and will do anything to help those I care about... she's all about money, social status, what can others GIVE her (she will buy her son 2nd hand uniforms for his first day at school but spend over $300 on sunglasses for herself) .. Just because you share parents doesn't mean you HAVE to love them. I have said to my sister that if we weren't related we would never cross paths as we are two so totally different people. Live your life for your little family, don't let her bring you down anymore, you are a wonderful amazing person and just happen to share parental DNA with her.
Oh dear! Her poor husband :(
Sounds to me she has Narcaistic Personality Disorder or something.
I'm the same. My sister admittedly has a diagnosed mental illness.
I left home at 17 because I couldn't stand it anymore. Mum kicked her out 3 years later? She tried living in a share house with friends, they kicked her out after 3 months. She came to live with me and has either lived with me or in my rental property a lot of her life. She steals, manipulates lies. I've had to kick her out on numberous occasions as she stopped paying rent. When I was in hospital having #3 she stole our rent money off the fridge, at this time she was living in our rental not paying her rent. After about 6 months, we had her evicted, but she didn't move her crap out and so we had to wait more months then get it assessed as abandoned, then start the clean up process.
Fighting over her was a big contributor to my marriage breakdown. I'd wanted to put the rental in the hands of an agent, hubby didn't want to pay agents fees and assured me he would manage the property, but next thing I know, I'm being yelled at because I hadn't started eviction proceedings yet. My nephew was in that house!! That poor little boy who's beent through so much I can't even mention it here.
The last place she lived with me just a few years ago, she moved in as she'd been evicted (again) from where she was living. She paid 1 week rent the whole time she was there AND stole my childrens money!!
She then moved in with my ex husband and now they are an item!! I think pure lonelyness on his part. He's been alone 8 years and is extremely shy and tried dating but nothing worked out. The girls he liked my sister told him she wasn't interested in him, so he got drunk and made moves on my sister.
Now she is using my kids to try to manipulate me, telling one of them I've ruined her back forever because I took her to a chiropractor when her back/neck was really sore from heavy school bag - also bought her a trolly backpacked which really helped.
She refused to educate my nephew, his school ended up not expelling him, but suggesting he should be home schooled. But she never handed in the paperwork, she said, "he doesn't need schooling as he has aspergas (she's diagnosed him, not a professional) so he'll never be able to leave home anyway" Eventually St Lukes got involved and are doing his schooling.
My kids no longer want to go to their father's place as she is so moody and erratic. It's all just freaking heartbreaking.
And this is the short version with the really bad stuff left out. :(
Seriously, I feel the world would be a better place without her,, how sad and mean and horrible is that !?!? :(
I don't have a single friend she hasn't tried to turn against me.
When living with me the last time, I took her to my girlfriends place, we were having a girly drinking night. Once I went to bed she tried to do her thing, and my g/f said that I had invited her along that night, not them, and so she'd better shut the hell up about me. :)
So I guess as much as I've lost some friends, the ones I keep, I know are true friends who adore me. :)
But really, they should never be put in that situation. Especially after everything I have done for her, she's literally cost me thousands of dollars.
I am finally done now... hurting my kids and trying to turn them against me was the final straw. I am polite at family gatherings. The kids father is invited to everything to do with them, and he's welcome to bring her, but I will no longer invite her to things to do with ME. She and the kids dad will come to my house for christmas, but that is for my mother and my kids. I'm just done.
So yep!! Your not the only one to hate a sibling and yes I feel very guilty about it, but no, not going to change it.
haven't spoken or seen my sister in over 2 years ...no love lost I''m happy with my little family and get to see my mum and dad every day ...just a shame she keeps my nephew and nieces from me ...but thats life ..I personally can never see us talking again and have made this quite clear to my parents especially after she never came to my son her nephew and god sons 21st and told her older children that if they came she would disown them ..... Don't worry be happy and thankful for what you have .... I just carry on like I have no sister and i'm quite happy with this .... you can choose your friends but not your family ......
I don't have a sister. I just wanted to say that all this anger and hatred will be hurting you more than her. Let it go. Forgive her, not for her sake, but your own. Accept that she is the person she is and move on.
Sometimes sweetpea - family just suck. The best you can do for yourself, your sanity and your child is to walk away. Face facts. She brings nothing good to your life and she has nothing good to teach your child. I would maintain bare tolerance in the interests of maintaining a relationship with your nieces and nephews.