Feeling a bit down and out at the moment.

Feeling a bit disillusioned and just generally down hearted at the moment.
Before I start, I just want to say, I am more than aware that we are where we are because of the choices we’ve made. And I really am fine with that. Many years ago I vowed to stop stressing and worrying about things I couldn’t control, to always look for the positives in the situation rather than the negatives. And what a difference it made to my outlook on life in general.
But right now, I just feel so down. While I am so grateful for the fact I have 4 beautiful happy and healthy children, we have a roof over our head, and despite it being slim some weeks, I love cooking and we always eat well. I get that that is a lot more than some people have.
We live on a pretty low income, my husband is only permanent part time in his job, and for the first time in 4 years, he’s lucky to be getting 20-24 hours a week. I, of course receive my FTB each fortnight, which I use to pay our rent, as I know that income doesn’t fluctuate like my husbands does. He has looked for other work, for the last 4 months, to no avail. We have a small debt which is our car. We weren’t in a position to borrow from a bank when we bought it, (unsuitable due to only being perm part time), and bought through a private lender. 13 months later, the car now needs a new gear box (quoted $3500 for a recondition gear box and labour. Our car is AWD, if it was only RWD my husband would be able to do it himself). We also need the ball joints done, ABS sensors replaced and new breaks (quoted $2500 including labour, worst case scenario). We tried to take out a personal loan, to pay out what was owing on the car ($3000), and to cover the costs of the repairs. But once again, deemed unsuitable. I have no idea what we are going to do.
But the thing that makes this hard for me, is in the last 6 weeks, I’ve found out that 3 of people I know are rorting the system. 1 is claiming a sole parent pension for 3 kids while her husband earns around $75k a year, another has her partner claiming for one of their kids, and she claims for the other 3, and another claiming for her 2 kids and her husband does FIFO. It’s so hard to see them all driving relatively new cars, posting on facebook about going out for dinner, and seeing the pictures of their holidays on the Coast and things like that. I was in tears recently when I’m floundering around trying to find the last $50 to come up with to pay what’s owing on my daughters sporting fees, so she can receive her participation trophy, and one of these people posted a photo of her taking her sons ENTIRE team out for slurpees to celebrate their last game.
It’s so disheartening. It just makes me sad. Sad that doing the ‘right thing’ doesn’t seem to get you anywhere. Sad that I spend my days and nights menu planning, budgeting, op shopping etc and these guys are holidaying on the beach with their new camper trailers. As I said above, I know we’re in the position we are through our own choices, and it’s never really bothered me before, I’m more the content driving an older car, buying second hand clothes, and giving our children experiences rather than possessions, it’s just hard right now, things are tight, and I just feel like we can’t catch a break.
The thing that has really set me off this morning is the fact that I spent the morning trolling the centerlink calculator trying to figure out how we could also rort the system so we could pay to get our car fixed. I ended up putting the computer away and crying. I’d never do it. I couldn’t. But I feel so sad and disappointed in myself that I even considered it.
I don’t know what the point of this is. I just really need to get it off my chest. Thank you for reading if you got this far.