Hi IMs, ( please no nasty comments, im feeling shit enough as it is!)
Ok so 1st baby was stillborn, 2nd was a blessing :) and now pregnant with #3 and just can't get excited. I'm scared, stressed, sick, working fulltime..i'm trying so hard to quit smoking and can't, i have cut back. Hubby and i were not planing on anymore kids and when we found out he was devastated. I feel like i don't have support, yet i don't want to talk about it. The few people i have told are over the moon for us. I think i am just so petrified of something happening/ going wrong again this time around too. I don't know how to think, i just feel so alone! Has anyone else been in this situation?
Feeling alone! :(
Feeling alone! :(
Posted in:
Pregnancy
1 Replies
It's ok to feel this way. Please know even those of us who haven't had the grief of losing a baby, may have had a surprise baby that we weren't excited about. My second was like that. I wasn't ready as it was too close to the birth of my first. Others were rude to us and not hugely supportive which made it worse. I didn't want to be pregnant and wished for it to be over (As ugly as that sounds and sick as it makes me now) then I did nearly lose her at 5 months. All of a sudden I wanted this baby no matter what and became a fiercely protective mumma bear. When she was born we didn't connect. She's now 9 and about 2 years ago we bean connecting (I was so relieved).
You may go through a hard time dealing with your feelings about your baby. Fear is understandable for what you've been through. Lack of support and not being well received by those that matter most will affect you. Sometimes you've got to choose to find the best in it. It can be a struggle but the effort is worth it.
Baby just wants to be loved, I bet you've got it in you to love this child. Perhaps talking to a trusted friend or a counsellor could help you work it out. Even getting hubby out for a coffee and talking about how you're feeling and getting it all out then strategising together. Come together as a team as tackle this head on.
I hope things go better for you soon.