This is more a vent. I've come to the realisation that I actually don't have any close friends that I'm comfortable confiding in at present.
my hubby has hardly worked in 3yrs for various reasons. I am working full time and doing any overtime that comes up to bring the $$ in. Hubby is fantastic with mr 4yo and Miss 18mth and runs the household pretty well. After work I don't have to worry about dinner, dishes or washing etc. All rosie from the outside.
We struggle from week to week. my overtime is not guaranteed or permanent. I have recently gone bankrupt and cannot do anything further than what I am. we only have 1 car, no real social life, just bills and bills. I always try and make at least 1 day each week good quality time with my bubs ie picnics at park or beach etc.
However I just feel lost. I just 'exist' from day to day, going through the motions. I'm jealous of my husband. besides 6mths mat leave with each child, I've had to work full time. I want to be the one to pick them up from daycare (will lose spot if we pull them out), or be the one that nurses them when they're sick.
I'm certain I'm suffering from depression but cannot afford any meds so haven't seen a Dr. Some days all I want to do is just cry - constantly. Kind of feel like I'm taken for granted at times and def feel under appreciated. For various reasons I cannot talk to hubby hence this message. thanks for reading.
4 Replies
Your not the only one that's just existing, Iam in the same boat hubby works full time at nights and I work during the day. I currently work 6 days a week and really struggle. I don't have an answer but just know your not alone
I just want to point out, and I don't want to make you feel worse, but you need to prioritize your health! If you don't you are putting you and your family at risk. I'm sure you can find the few dollars a week it would cost for medication. Don't minimise what you are going through.
Agreed with the PP - seeing as you are the bread winner at the moment your health needs to be a priority! If you fall in a heap, what happens then? Depression treatment doesn't *have * to mean medication but it can do. If you have a health care card the prescription is cheap anyway. Please look after yourself.
I really feel for you as financial issues are sooooo stressful and do tend to impact your mental health. Please go see your gp and they can organise you a mental health plan and you can access a certain number of free counselling sessions or at low cost. This will really help you to work through your emotions and just good to have a third party to vent to!! I have been on meds for depression and they aren't much mine are about $15 a month. It does vary obviously but so worth it for your sanity. You may not even need them but don't be ashamed if you do. Counselling will really help too. Take care Mumma xx