I am 21 years old and this is my second pregnancy my first was a molar but this pregnancy everything with the baby is perfect and healthy I am 8 weeks. All my family are already telling me I am going to be a bad mother because I am single and have no job. I am struggling so hard with this, I will love this child no matter what and will stick by my child regardless on what everyone is saying to me but at such a hard time everyone is making things incredibly bad for myself and I am really struggling :(
10 Replies
I was 20, when I had my first. Which was only 3 years younger than the average age for a first time mum in the 90s. You aren't too young. I won't lie, I had to grow up fast though, my friends were all out partying still and I was home with a baby. So start getting your ducks in a row. As your family isn't very supportive you are going to have to get some emotional support probably in the form of a counsellor. So talk to your GP about any support services for young mums in your area and get a referral to some counselling. Use the next few months to look at your finances and make sure your housing situation is stable. Sharing a house with a baby is pretty impossible, and living at home with unsupportive parents would be extremely draining. I'd probably be looking at 1 bedroom units. Babies don't need a lot of room and most people end up room sharing for a while anyway. My son had the bedroom (I had sofa bed, worked very well for us).
Most things for a baby you can pick up second hand etc, so don't think you need to buy a lot of stuff.
You can do this, if you keep your head on straight, plan and get your supports in place.
Your age doesn't define what kind of mother you will be. You don't need thr very best of everything. Your family won't be raising this child so the decision is ultimately yours. Good luck :)
You already sound like you'll be a wonderful mum. Congratulations! You're not too young, if that's the path you choose, you're ready you will do it. It's hard, it has challenges, and support is important it's,such a shame your family isn't helping and actually making it harder. Built up your community and support network in other people. Good luck!
Don't let anyone influence your decision to keep your baby or not, you are the one that is pregnant, so you need to be the one making that choice. If people aren't supportive just cut them out of your life, it's hard enough being pregnant without dealing with other people problems and opinions. Good luck ?
Are you still living at home? Are you studying/ going to have a career? Can you financially support this baby on your own? Can the father help out with costs?
Yes I am living at home, and am studying. I will make sure I can support my child regardless on the efforts it may take. I was in an domestic violence relationship and I haven't let the father known due the risks it courses my child.
Have an abortion, all the smart successful women I know have made this decision at some stage. I have had a child young and broke and it's not enough. You will rip yourself and the child off. You both deserve so much more. Who is going to support you? How will you pay for your child? Get a great education, get a great job, get some stability behind you then have a baby with a loving partner.
How awful are you!!
You should abort yourself
This is your choice don't let them convince u to do anything u don't want to do. They are probably worried about you. The best thing is to prove them wrong, get your life together, start studying and get a part time job and get yourself in a position to support yourself and your child for the long term. If u become dependent on benefits they will always be able to criticise your choices. Good luck a baby is a blessing and it will get better x