My 3 rd baby was born in December. When I was in hospital I got visits from all my family except my material grandmother. My son is now 9 weeks old and she still hasn't made any attempt to visit him the only thing she has done is send a card with no writing on the inside. We have had a very strained relationship since I was very young as they have always played favourites and picked on me something crule when I was going through my awkward teenage stage.
My great aunt is visiting from the uk. She is staying at my mums house during her stay and is extremely excited to meet our new baby. My problem begins with if I want to visit my aunt chances are my grandmother willbe their. Iam not sure if i want her to meet my son. It's hurt me a lot she hasn't met him or made any attempt to meet him she knows where I live and has my numbers, but still refuses to make contact.
My hubby and my self have always been of the idea if you can't be bothered with us then why should we bother with you.
My question is am I making a big deal out of nothing or do I have a right to be upset and not want to see my grandmother ??
Should I be bothered
Should I be bothered
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Health & Wellbeing
5 Replies
Don't visit your Aunt get your mum to bring her to you, atleast for their first visit, that way your grand mother has to choose whether she wants to come or not.
I'd make it clear to your mum that if u plan on visiting you want to know if grandmother will be there. But honestly id just visit outside the house or have them to yours.
not over reacting id be the same. In fact I am with my mother in law.
Your views sound confusing. You're upset she didn't visit but don't have or want a relationship with her. If you really don't want a relationship with her (which sounds like what you have now) just be polite if and when you see her. She did send a card & that could be her way of reaching out. Maybe give her a call and thank her for the card. Next move is yours. I have no parents or grandparents alive so my opinion is slighted towards fixing it. Good luck and congrats on the baby.
I completely understand your frustration, but i would personally just bite the bullet and go around there. If she's there, hopefully all will be good and you can relax a little and the stress you are carrying will just disappear. Good luck
My daughter is 11 and has never met her grandmother on her fathers side. Neither have I. I think it's totally up to you but maybe you need to work on the issue why you feel this way about your grandma and how you can make yourself feel better and not feel guilty. It's your life your baby and you get to choose who is in it. Love yourself and know you are a beautiful good person and no one should make you feel otherwise. You are not hurting her by not seeing your baby but it will hurt you for your aunt to not see your baby. Maybe you can make an arrangement to see her elsewhere or maybe your grandmother is just old and doesn't even realise she didn't write in your card or favoured the others as she probably knew no better. My grandparents towards the end were sending the birthday cards with the wrong names on them or the wrong dates :) I hope you find your peace. All the best xx