Hi mummies.. Sorry for the longest message..
I'm in need of some advice.. My fiancé and I have a gorgeous 1 year old son & just this week we have started to try for our second, we have always wanted out kids to be close together in age and I'm so excited to be actually trying and starting the process.. My issue is, on my partners side every female in his family is getting help to try and fall pregnant. (His sister & cousins).. His sister wouldn't have an issue if we fell pregnant she was ecstatic the first time it's his cousin that I am worried about.. We are close and she is often over crying to me and blaming herself as to why she can fall pregnant (they have been trying for almost 2 years) and are starting the process of insemination soon.. She has said to me on a few occasions the only person she could be happy for if they fell pregnant is my partners sister.. As they are both in the same boat.. So I feel like here I am, this young fertile woman who can fall pregnant at the click of my fingers, and is dying to extend our family but in doing that I don't want to be that person who she despises because of it.. When I fall pregnant I am going to dread telling her as I will feel horrible. But at the same time I don't want to put my family on hold to please other people.. Any advice or suggestions ladies?
Falling Pregnant when family members can't conceive
Falling Pregnant when family members can't conceive
Posted in:
Pregnancy
5 Replies
Don't put your family on hold! It would be like not getting married because your best friend isn't! Anyone who would expect you to put your life on hold needs some mental health help themselves. Everyone has there own difficulties in life at one time or another and this is your fiancés families struggle. As long as your tactful and understanding they will be happy for you. Of course they may have a cry or feel jealous but they will still be happy for you. Also while your young and healthy it's a good idea to have kids rather than waiting for that biological clock to start messing up!
I have been in your situation but on your cousins side. It's taken my husband and I years to fall pregnant and over 20k in treatments. Whilst trying only my sister knew and was my sounding board. During this time my brother and wife fell and had a son aswell as my sister who fell unwanted to a one night stand. Whilst I'll admit to a lot of jealousy it didn't override my joy for them and excitement. I found it hard when they told me especially my sister but that's life and I was and am happy for them.
I would suggest if your comfortable with it maybe mention to your cousin that you are going to try so that it doesn't come as a complete shock and expect her to be a bit emotional at first but hopefully she will move past that pretty quick and be excited. And who knows as she's starting insem soon she may fall similar time.
Good luck and I hope your family grows soon and happily
Don't ever live your life around other people the only peoples opinions that matter in this situation is yours and your husbands :) Live your lives and be happy your never going to be able to make everyone happy :)
You could also think about being a surrogate for her.
You're not pregnant yet, don't be so sure it will happen easily every time. It would be nice to mention you're thinking about trying & how you feel about the age gap to prepare them.