At the moment I am going through the process (with a very good psychologist) of dealing with childhood traumas that I suppressed both emotionally and memory wise.
When I get to the point where it's all too much, when the pain is too much I just want to hurt myself.
I need to find pain other than the pain I feel because it's all just too much.
This is a long process, started a year or so ago with many more years work to do.
These breaking points that push me to the edge are maybe once every 6 months. Because I have 2 young children I know I can't cut myself, or drive into a tree.
Tonight it all got too much and the remote was there. I hit myself in the head with it. I didn't know but I was bleeding. My head is pretty cut up.
I know it's not healthy, but am I the only one who has gone through this?
It is absolutely not my normal calm loving behaviour.
I am working through it.
I feel very alone, like a freak. Now I look like one too!
1 Replies
You are not a freak, cutting, and self harm behaviours are very common. My son began self harming around 18 years old although he hasnt self harmed in about 8 months.