A friend of mine was recently posting some very desperate pleas on facebook along the lines of they're going to be homeless for Christmas etc.
This lady is a widow and has 3 children.
My friend went on a big spending spree with her husband's life insurance when he died a few years ago.
When the life insurance was all gone, various fundraisers were held over the years for her and her kids.
Someone started a fundraiser for her family, but I decided against donating, as they rent a big flash house, drive brand new cars, have the latest and best and flashest of everything in their big flash house. The mother wears really flash expensive gold and diamond jewellery etc etc.
The fundraiser made a decent amount of money. I was in 2 minds about donating, until I saw the photos of her extravagent Christmas, extravagent New Years Eve Party, and weekend away!
Do you think I'm being harsh, or do you think it's time my friend started to live within her means instead expecting donations to come rolling in every time she cries poor?
Extravagent friend
Extravagent friend
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Sisterhood Stories
8 Replies
No I think she needs to reevaluate her life style! If she wants to maintain what she has she should go get a well paying job. Donations are for people who need it!! Ugh this post makes me angry. Sure it's sad she's a widow but she should have been better with her money from the start. I have a friend who's dad left her 200,000 dollars. She spent it on clothes, surgery, food, rent for a 3 bedroom house (she was single and childless at the time) now she is basically homeless and desperate for money
I think she needs to re-evaluate her lifestyle! Having a tragedy in your life doesn't give you the right to keep expecting others to fund your lifestyle choices.
It's hard to know what I'd do with a lump sum, I daresay it may look like splurging from the outside as well. It's very hard to downgrade cars and loan payments and houses, it takes time and planning and sometimes isn't financially viable plus it normally happens when you're at the bottom,as a last resort, not on top if. You have other options and hope. Try to remember that there's more going on, don't judge her as you wouldn't like a friend to judge your lifestyle, but now she's down again perhaps offer kindness and budget advice, lifestyle tips etc. No you don't have to give your money.
It's been a few years, plenty of time to make some changes. It isn't financially viable for her to keep expecting others to find her lifestyle!
The point is its not your business, your place to judge or make her decisions, just don't give your money and don't be involved. Maybe she can live off donations, who knows everyone's different. As said below she may be suffering grief, trying to overcompensate to make a good Christmas for her kids, living in the moment and making it easier and temporarily happier, whatever her thinking, you're not in her shoes and the truth is no matter what money she has you wouldn't want to be.
No. I'd get the shits too.
It seems she have taken advantage of people's generosity and it would make you cringe seeing her splurge and show off her fancy parties and holiday and cars and house that kind hearts have funded. Really she should be bugeting so herself and the children can stay financially stable while she looks for work and is back on her feet. You say "they", has she got a new partner? Do either of them work?
The generosity will dry up. There will be others in need. Maybe if she is your good friend have a little chat to her about preparing for the future instead of living in the moment.
Her splurging may be a side effect of her grief for her lost husband too. So find out whether she has had grief counselling etc...
She does need to learn to live with in her means and no I would not donate either. I am harsh, I know what it's like to cry about how I can pay rent and buy food but every single time I come out and I don't do luxury (I don't think I could even with the money) so if you are crying poor in a new car with flashy things then you can sell them simple and down grade, get out of a lease and move into a nice smaller modest house. It is completely up to you on whether or not u offer budget advice and up to her if she takes it. but all I can say is just dont be jealous and realise one day people will wake up. Some people just need to learn the hard way that money doesn't last forever if you splurge and want that life style, she also needs to learn that more money does not equal more happiness look at people around the world who are sad and who are rich, and all the people who are poor and happy.