Unsure if this is going to turn into a question or just an outpouring.
A year ago I left my husband due to emotional abuse and cheating. Me and my 13 year old daughter moved into our own place and all was going well. I was working full time in a professional role and had everything under control as a newly single Mum, fast forward 2 months and my job was made redundant due to a contract lose by the company I was working for. I have spent 10 months daily looking for,applying, searching and BEGGING for work to no avail. I am not fussy and will do anything that pays (legally of course) i have worked since my daughter was 6 months old and never had any issues with gaining employment which is making it even harder to deal with not being able to get anything.
The real reason for this post is I am now drowning, savings have dried up and centrelink only covers our rent and utilities, I have nothing left over for food, petrol, hygine products ect. Our fridge died 5 months ago and I have not been able to replace it, the weather is getting very warm and I can't even have a cold drink for my daughter after school. She is walking 7kms a day to and from school as we have no money for the bus and no money for petrol. I am sneaking into a local orchard at night to get her fruit for school. I personally have no bed and sleep on the floor. I get no maintance off my ex and am too scared to pursue it. My parents can't help as they are retired and have little money themselves.
I don't eat for days just so I can make sure my daughter has food.
My rent is quiet high but I can't move as I can't afford bond, moving trucks ect.
I am broken and I am lost. I have gone from a very happy go lucky person full of get up and go to a broken shell of a human being.
My daughter is the most amazing, smart and kind hearted soul but I can see her sparkle fading away day by day. She never asks for anything but I can see it pains her that she can't go see a movie with her friends or go to the local pool. She is endlessly making up excuses as to why she isn't able to hang out.
Currently she has her period and I have had to show her how to fold toilet paper up to use as a pad because I can't even buy that for her!!!
What kind of parent am I.
I just want a job, I want to be able to give her everything she deserves yet I can't even buy her pads.
I try and be grateful that we have a roof over our heads and heating but I am even close to loosing that due to being behind in rent as I could not make an appointment with centrelink due to not being able to put petrol in the car.
I don't know what to do anymore. I have failed hugely.
39 Replies
Have you contacted your local housing authority about a bond loan or similar. In some states you only pay it back when you move out of the new place. They can also help with back rent in some states.
It only cost me $500 to move house by hiring a truck myself from budget and getting friends and family to help move. My mum who is 60 and myself moved my sisters house on our own with a budget truck. It took us a day. If you sell anything you don't need before you move it will make the move easier. $500 is quite affordable on a centrelink advance payment.
If you have anything to sell, sell it. It's probably time to sell the car and catch public transport. Rego, insurance etc all cost money you probably don't have right now. It's more important to channel funds into moving and rebuilding once you are in somewhere affordable.
Coles have excellent period pads on sale for $2.50 a packet.
Start talking to agencies like anglicare, salvos etc. there are 'child sponsorship' programs in australia and it sounds like your daughter might be suitable.
But you absolutely need to move otherwise you will be putting out fires for ever.
Are you in Perth? If you are then i would love to pass on a care package for you.
have you looked at your local churches? I believe that a lot offer free dinner one night of the week and I think if you get in contact with the salvos they do food vouchers
I am in country Victoria. Thank you for your kind offer though.
Unfortunately I am unable to apply for a centrelink loan.
I have sold almost everything sellable including tv, dinning suite ect. I don't even have $2.50.
I will look into salvation army ect.
Thank you for your responses x
I'm in Vic, in the Yarra Valley. Please don't be embarrassed to ask for help, there are so many organisations out there to help in situations like yours. I've been in your shoes hun, not judgment here at all! Please please please inbox me on FB, I can help you find some places to help. I can bring you some basics ect if you're in my region & if your not I'll help find you someone who can. xoxox
Please PM me your address I would really like to help you and your daughter out.
Dear Mumma, I would really like to help out too. Please pm me. And send me your address and bank details.
I have a few ideas about how you could make some extra money, fundraising ideas...
- Go fund me page - 50k people in this group, we could all give a few $.
- Someone I know has just done a mango fundraiser - they approached a mango farmer, got their friends to buy trays of mangos for $10 more than what she paid the farmer per box. I'll help you organise something like that if you want.
Sending you strength.
xxx
Dear Mumma, I would really like to help out too. Please pm me. And send me your address and bank details.
I have a few ideas about how you could make some extra money, fundraising ideas...
- Go fund me page - 50k people in this group, we could all give a few $.
- Someone I know has just done a mango fundraiser - they approached a mango farmer, got their friends to buy trays of mangos for $10 more than what she paid the farmer per box. I'll help you organise something like that if you want.
Sending you strength.
xxx
Where r u in country Victoria exactly ?
Oh mumma, my heart breaks for you, it's a tough tough world, and you my dear are one strong warrior- go straight to Salvation Army, local church's, go see the owners of farms in your area or anyone you know who has a fruit tree and ask if you can have the 'dud' fruit for free or for $1 a bag ( when we had our orchid we would beg people to take our fruit as people didn't like paying for oranges that were tiny or spotted ect), start a drop in ironing business (you might only get $5 -$10 a basket but it can mean milk and bread), get on Facebook on your local groups and ask if anyone has an old fridge for free (you'd be surprised how many people are so kind and generous) , and please please please don't be afraid to ask for help even if it hits your pride so hard you can't breathe just know there are some amazing kind and giving people out there who will help out
Where about's are you in country Victoria? I would love to help in some way!xxx
The ironing sounds like a great idea, I have advertised to clean houses and have so far been able to pick up one which gives us $40 a week for staples. I live in Bacchus Marsh Vic. I was offered a fridge but have no trailor or way to pick one up.
On the plus side I was just offered 15 hours a week at a fish and chip shop which has me super excited!
I do have trouble asking for any help as have always been so independent and feel quiet silly. But it's at the stage now that I have to for my daughters sake.
Thank you lovely ladies so much I really was starting to loose all hope.
I live in Geelong , I could help out and buy some pads and things for your daughter if you'd like ? Something to help out a little as your not too far away ?
Just don't think people will think badly about you asking for help, truth is so many people have been in your shoes, last year we were, after my husband injured himself at sport and insurance only paid $1300 for 10 weeks ( not each week but 10 weeks total), plus he was a casual in the building industry so there was no using holiday leave ect to keep an income- with two kids and rent and food and petrol just for appointments we went under, it happens so quick and it happens to so many people. Congratulations on getting some work I bet it's a bit of the load off your shoulders, and might lead to more hours and more financial relief- but please just know you are such a superwoman and if you can hang on day by day, week by week, you will get there much love mumma
mumma theres currently over 102 other mummas wanting to help please make contact with one of us so we can link you to all the support
Please message me.
I dont know u but wluld love to help do u live in cairns maybe u can worka day a week for us cSh in hand or something i wud really like to help
Please send me your adress privatly to my mail i would only love to help x
I see that you're in Victoria, I'd love to help you out. Could you send me a private message on Facebook with your address? Keep your chin up mumma, this storm shall pass xx
I'm not in Victoria. I'm located in NSW but id still love to help xx
I work for unitingcare in gippsland. We see many people in this kind of situation. There are lots of agencies that can help from food vouchers, petrol vouchers etc. These kinds of organisation's also link in with places like anglicare, centrelink and others to cover all different issues. There are many agencies around country vic. Look up your closest unitingcare or anglicare for a starting point. Also share the dignity for sanitary products are an amazing organisation
I live in Geelong & would love to send you a care package. Please inbox me your details, my heart is breaking for you. It's hard to go from having a lot to starting again. My husband died 6 years ago & my kids & I have also had to start again. Asking for help was one of the hardest things I've had to do, but people really do want to help-sometimes they just don't know how xx
I go past Bacchus Marsh every day. Please let me know if you need help. I work with schools and support schools to help kids in need. I know the person who does the same in your region. You might be able to apply for a bus pass from Travellors Aid. School Welfare can help with heaps too and sometimes the school is looking for help so there may even be work there. Hang in and good luck with your new job :)
Ok mumma your post has just hit facebook and gone crazy with offers of help, fellow vic mumma here and not that far from you i'm based in colac, i'd love to find away to link you with as much help as poosible including all the offers of support pouring in, could you please make contact, i can possible also sort the fridge delivery for you asap if its still available to you,
this is not a hand out, this is your hand UP, as somewhere in this world we all need one :-)
Can you please pm would love to help you x
Just a thought for any handy sewing ladies out there
Who would like to help
Maybe may make the lady and her daughter cloth pads
If I new how to sew I would do it
But they are washable and super cost effective
I don't mean to be rude but If you can't afford food or anything how can you afford Internet ?
My first thought would be free wifi, local library. Not that I think that's even close to being one of the important issues here...
That is rude. If she is applying for jobs she needs a phone. Phone = emails, calls & internet.
Welcome to the 21st century
Please inbox me with an address of where I can send a care package (it doesn't need to be your home address :-))
I live in qld but I would love to send something to you.
Better days are coming mama, don't be ashamed, you are doing the best you can and your daughter sounds like a very special girl
Please pm me I would love to send you some woolworths vouchers
I live half an hour from Bacchus Marsh and would like to do what I can to help. You can inbox me and I can see what you need and what I can organise for you. I have a 13 year old daughter and would like to help out for your daughter - from one mother to another!
If you've been working in the past, you hopefully have some superannuation?? While it's not ideal, you can sometimes access it early in times of financial hardship. This could be an option just to get you back on top of things. Contact your super fund & see if it's possible. As a single mum, I know how hard it can be. Good luck!
It's a nice thought but normally only possible if the person is struggling to meet mortgage payments or medical costs. Plus Centrelink count this as income so her payments would be reduced for some time.
I'd love to help you!
I'm in Melbourne's West not far from Bacchus Marsh. I'd like to help this IM and her daughter. I know a great guy who does pickups and deliveries and would like to cover the costs of having a fridge delivered to her. If no one around our area has one to donate I'll source one for her... am also thinking some coles and movie vouchers too.
IM if you're reading this please get in contact. I promise I'll help put the sparkle back in your daughter's eyes x
Please contact me on facebook. My name is Emily Watson-Watson (inside joke) please inbox me asap!!!!
Please, please dear mama, check the Facebook post and post on there so we can contact you... I know how hard it is to ask for help, I know you feel like you've failed, and let your daughter down... I felt like that daily... So please, let us all help... It doesn't take much to get back on your feet, but sometimes you need a hand up, and there are 100's of mums out there willing to extend that hand... You haven't failed, you haven't let anyone down, you're reaching out, and that is huge...
Hi Everyone,
Thanks for all of your beautiful support. We have messaged this I.M we will provide you with more informatin as soon as we have it available.
Kristy x
Hi. I haven't stopped thinking about this IM and her daughter and have been checking your FB page and my inbox hoping to hear something and hopefully fulfill my promise to provide support.... any updates?