I asked this page a question about finding the balance between family and work a week or so ago now and I have been stewing on the answers since.
Yes I said I was at breaking point and that I was avoiding my step kids and my partner at dinner because I couldn't cope with anything.
HOWEVER! that does not mean I do not love them all dearly! I work so far from home because jobs are so few and far between and we need the money! I said my partner earns a pittance pay because that is what he says over and over and it has just stuck!
I asked for suggestions on how to balance long hours at work that's 1.5 hours drive commute each way and coming home to my step kids who happen to be hands on 14 year olds and an exhausted partner.
I did NOT ask for IM's to lecture me on getting a job closer to home or appreciating what I have or calling them my step children (that is what they are, they have a mother I am not replacing her in any way hence STEP children!) Or for putting down my partner for his pay bracket!
I think maybe some people need to think about what they are commenting before they press post. Think about what the IM on the receiving end of your comment may feel or think.
I asked for advice and support when I was at the end of my rope and instead of helping most of the comments only made me feel much much worse.
I apologise for the long post but I felt that this needed to be said.
4 Replies
Im so sorry you went through that
Me too. I think i saw your original but didn't post. I also commute but thankfully it's on a train so I can read a book or do some extra work, but importantly I can relax! Driving 1.5hrs home after working all day would be stuff so having even just 5-10 mins when you get home to relax and unwind would be bliss. I think you have to find something that relaxes you and can give you sometime out and makes you feel energised. Not sure what that could be but mayb think if there is anything you enjoy and just do it
People love to get on their high horse and tell others what they ' should' be doing without stopping to question what would they do in your situation. Ignore the haters, they probably only say shit to make themselves feel better about their own lives. Take the positive answers and disregard the rest-they arent worth your time to be worrying about x
It is never nice when people pull sections from a post and bash you for it. I think sometimes when reading a text, email, forum questions, the context in which things are said can be misconstrued.
Firstly, well done for contributing to your family life! Good on you for taking a job despite the distance, providing support whether it be financial or emotional, is a great sign you are dedicated to playing an equally important role in your family. Perhaps you could sit down with your partner, explain these feelings you have, try not to become angry or attack him with your feelings, express and describe them to him. Tell him how you want to feel and how you want some quality of life, that being with family. On your days off, aside from ensuring you are well rested, make plans to spend quality time together. Even if it is lounging around together all day. Remember that what your feeling, he may be feeling to. He may have noticed that your avoiding him and the kids, try utilise the family to take your mind off your busy day. If they are aware of your struggles they may be able to assist in bringing a smile to your face at the end of a day :) Good luck and i hope things improve for you xx