Hi, just after advice. So my friend is having a destination wedding, and asked me to be bridesmaid. I'm happy to pay for flights and accommodation, etc but I'm wondering how people feel about buying their own bridesmaids dress ($200+) as well. She has said she understands if we can't afford to go to wedding. But I really want to go and help her celebrate. Can I go and not be a bridesmaid? What are other thoughts?
4 Replies
Bridesmaids often have to pay for their own gear for the wedding, so it's not (IMO) unreasonable for her to ask you to. If you're not happy to do it, but still want to go, just tell her!
I personally wouldn't be asking my bridesmaid pay for their outfits if it was overseas or I'd not expect a $200 price tag. Tell her that you'd love to be there but can't afford both travel and the dress. Ask if you can get a cheaper dress if she still wants you to pay (seeing as you would need a dress anyhow as a guest).
I wouldn't be able to afford it either so I would tell her that you are sorry and can't afford to do both so would rather attend the wedding, than miss out and be a bridesmaid.
I think when people decide to have destination weddings they need to be realistic about what other people can afford.
I understand that it all adds up, but I assume flights and accommodation will be in the thousands in total?? Another $200 seems like not much in comparison. Especially when so many people seem to buy brand a brand new dress and/or shoes for every wedding they go to. But I get it, $200 is still a lot of money when you're already stretching the budget to go to the wedding. Say you'd love to be a bridesmaid and maybe you could wear something you already have, so that you can afford some cocktails with the bride-to-be while you're there :) And can I just add - keep in mind it's a wedding; a happy event that should be about celebration and love and joy. Too many people end up fighting because of wedding dramas. Hope it all goes beautifully :)