hello ladies
I need advise on getting my 4 yr old to sleep on her own.
I co-slept with her from day one and I loved every moment of it! She went straight into a double bed and I moved in with her. The idea was that by getting her use to her bed I could eventually transition her and she could sleep on her own. Fast forward 3 years later I had another little girl who is now 11 months old and I made sure I didn't make the same mistake and trained her from 6 months to sleep in her own cot. She's a great sleeper but wakes occasionally and has a little cry but then goes back to sleep. During this past year my husband was sleeping with my 4 yr old and I was sleeping in our room with the baby.
Both my husband I love sleeping with miss 4 but it's now gotten to the stage where we want to be able to sleep together in the same bed and room!
I've tried talking to her but she really wants us there (one of us).
My next thought is getting a bunk bed (a fun castle style which I know she loves) and transition my 1 yr old into a bed with miss 4 on the top bunk. However I don't know how to go about this... I worry that miss 1 will wake miss 4 when she cries and then it's distrupted sleep for all. How can I get miss 4 to sleep on her own but still feel loved and comfortable?
Also how do I transition miss 1 into a bed without the fear of her falling out? She does laps of her cot before she sleeps lol
Please no negative comments - I know I made a mistake by co-sleeping and I know I made my bed so now I should lie in it - I just need positive advise and experience please.
Also just to make it clear I love sleeping with my babies - I just think it's time for the next stage.
3 Replies
Personally I wouldn't put both kids in the same room together until both their sleeping is sorted otherwise you'll have one crying and they will wake the other then you will have both. I transitioned all my kids to a single bed for their second bday. We made a big fuss took them out to choose their own doona cover set and bed and made a big deal about it. You can buy railings from the baby stores that attach to the side of the bed to stop them from falling or rolling out. In regards to the co sleeping I've never done that but my second did have issues getting to sleep in his own single bed I used the camp out method that u sit on the bed the first nite till they go to sleep then each night after gradually move closer to the door till your all the way out the room it may take a few weeks but it does work.
I would not put both kids in the room together yet and I wouldn't transition the one year old yet.
I would use the gradual withdrawal method with your 4 year old. So the first night you lie in bed with her until she is asleep and then leave. If she wakes up you get into her bed until she is asleep and then leave (you could just leave to a mattress on the floor if you wanted). Once she is used to that you just sit next to her on the bed while she goes to sleep until she is used to it, then the next step is sitting on a chair next to the bed until she is used to. So you basically just keep stepping it up until she is sleeping on her own.
Ive used this method before with kids who have anxiety issues around being left alone and it works well because it isn't hardcore and allows the child to build confidence at each stage before moving to the next one.
You didn't make a mistake! Geez, I hope no one has been in your head about this. We do what we have to to get through the early months and years; and co-sleeping is lovely. Everyone gets sleep and kids feel secure.
I was in this situation (apart from the second child); so I would lay with my daughter while she fell asleep, then would go to bed with hubby. At about 2 or 3 in the morning (I normally wake around this time to go to the loo) I would move back to DD's bed. This went on for a few weeks, then I stopped going back to her bed and stayed with hubby all night. DD sleeps through most nights and I'm up before she wakes so I am in the room as she wakes up.
Just take it gently and slowly :)