Iam not sure if Iam looking for an answer or just a vent pls bear with me ...
Hubby and myself own our own business. We have 3 children 6,3, and 10weeks. I went back to work 3 weeks ago. Our children don't attend any day care when Iam at work hubby is home and vice versa he is a baker so he mostly works nights and then I work in the business during the day. My problem is when ppl family or strangers find out Iam back at work with a 10 wk old at home they really look down on me, it is so extremely hard for me to go to work so early. Then the throw salt in the wound when they ask who's watching the kids and I say hubby they always make comments like "can he handle all 3?" And "you trust him to watch all 3?" His their father and an extremely good one at that he never misses any school thing, drs appointment, birthday party, you name it his their even if his the only dad at the event. Iam finding it really hard to take these comments I usually just laugh them off but it's been happening so much lately Iam really struggling with the criticism. My husband is a wonderful father and I know he can look after our children 100% but with all this criticism Iam starting to second guess if we are doing the right thing with me going to work, the shifts I usually do are around 5 hrs and sometimes I work the whole shift resenting myself for leave the kids at home. How do I get around these critical ppl their really starting to get me down.
8 Replies
If it was me, id just tell them that 'obviously your partner cant look after your kids, I must have a good one who can do all that and have the house clean for me when im home'
Your choices are made for the family, those kids would be loving having time with dad without mum around.
Don't let the judgemental people get you down, if they are looking down on your situation, clearly there's something not right in their life and there's a hint of jealousy.
I don't believe that a mum should be restricted as to when she goes back to work. So, if it's what you've gotta do financially, then keep it up, not only do you probably really need that time out to have adult time!!!
Good luck mumma!
That is crazy. Some people will do anything to make others feel bad!! You aren't leaving your kids with a random stranger, he is their dad! Why is he any less capable than you to be home with HIS children. I am not as lucky as you as my husband does not feel he could manage and yes you obviously do have one of the good ones :) go to work knowing that you are providing for your family so that they can have everything they need and are obviously in more than capable hands. xx
That is so unfair that people make statements like that about if your husband will manage!!! We are planning on me going back to work more soon and hubby doing the stay at home dad with our 2 children and already getting questions like do u think he will cope? Do you think he knows what's involved?!! Like you my husband is a brilliant Dad and is very hands on with the children!! He is looking forward to it! You would think we would have moved past the thoughts that women have to be at home but obviously not! I think you should be proud that ur hubby is staying home, don't get down. Tell people it works for your family and that is all that matters.
I'm a SAHM and I get criticism all the time. Always asked when I'll be returning to work and comments made that I don't financially contribute to my family etc.
The way I see it were are all doing what we think is best for our families, and no family is the same.
Like you I have one of those amazing husband's who I can confidently leave our children with. People who make rude comments about your hubby taking care of your children obviously have lazy partners who can't and won't look after their children.
You and your husband are doing a wonderful job, don't let anyone make you feel otherwise x
Obviously it's people saying that to you because there husbands can't cope with looking after a couple kids on his own so have to just assume that every man can't handle looking after there children.
If someone says it to you again you could say well my hubby does a wonderful job looking after our children and I would much rather my hubby at home with the kids then a daycare centre.
Don't get down on yourself it's never easy returning back to work but if Ur hubby & babies are happy then hell with what others think
This is your family and you are doing the best you can
You and your partner are awesome - you're operating like a well-oiled parenting team.
I would say most would be jealous. Your husband sounds amazing. The kids are very lucky to have you both parenting.
Wow! I would be more than comfortable leaving my three children (6, 5, and 6 mths) with my husband; I'd prefer it to sending them to daycare! I don't understand how people think they have the right to comment on the way other families function. Keep doing what you're doing, and stop listening to the negative comments!