I'm so passionate about marriages! Seriously!
So just wondering on your piece of precious advice on how to create a great marriage? I know no marriage is perfect - but surely it should get better and easier as we grow more and get more experienced right??
For us - it's communication. Having date nights where we share 2 great things, and 1 thing we feel the other needs to work on. Making sure we are heading in the same direction and not misinterpreting things that cause fights.
And when we do fight - making sure it's for reconciliation and not for ourselves but for us
Any tips?? Thanks!
6 Replies
Love this question! Mine would be knowing that no matter what you are in it together. That your love and desire to be with each other is greater than anything else. That life sometimes gets tough and you may take it out on one another, but at the end of the day you still love and respect each other. I can be a right moody cow sometimes and make sure I tell my wonderful man how much I love him and thank him for letting me have my hissy fit without taking it personally.
Best advice is to learn each others love language. Read the book - The 5 love languages
Basically every one has a way in which they feel loved. Mine is "words of affirmation" so I feel loved by my husband telling me nice things and lovely words. My husbands is totally different, he feels love with "acts of service". So if I make the time to do something for him like writing little notes or making our house nice and homely then it fills his love tank. Well worth the read. :)
Sounds to me like you should be posting the answers Kelly Dee!
Please tell us more about these date nights! Sounds like awesome therapy for a married couple.
understanding that as life has its ups and downs, your marriage will as well. You may not always like your partner or what they have done or said but thats ok, you can still love them. It takes work and a willingness to work on things together, communicate and be open and honest, dont forget your vows and the promises you made and make sure you spend time together especially if you tend to have really busy and separate lives
I use 4 things to guide my marriage-
-never go to bed angry/always go to bed together (read in bed or something beside your partner, do whatever so long as you're there beside each other)
-take the time to say a proper goodbye at the start of each day (never know when you may not return)
-say "I love you" every chance you get
-my Granny's "3-2-1 rule"...3 "must haves" to help 2 become truly 1
3 "must haves" to make a marriage work- patience, communication & trust...
I often wondered where love fitted in, Granny's response "with patience comes resilience, with communication comes understanding & with trust comes honesty...love is always a strong underlying constant because it was why you get married in the first place."
besides, when you break it down isn't love just a combination of the above???
like many, hubby & I do our best communicating in bed...get your minds outta the gutter you dirty minded people :)
I was referring to the "evening wind-down"...we catch up on each others day, share a laugh & discuss whatever is on our mind- it is what I look forward to sometimes. hubby has even admitted that sometimes it's the best part of his day...without it, he doesn't usually sleep well.
it has worked for us...so if it ain't broke, don't try & fix it I say :)
Hold on through the hard times...sometimes days, sometimes years. They will pass.