I'll start by saying sorry this is so long but its kinda hard to explain. I'm having problems with my husband not being able to talk about anything serious. I have a huge issue with this because I have massive trust issues after 8 years with a liar, cheat and thief (yes I'm getting counselling) and its caused arguments many times as I believe for a relationship to work you need complete disclosure and honesty. Most recently its been a problem with our sex life. I have a very high sex drive and lately he just hasn't been interested. I've tried different ways to talk about it such as asking if there's something he'd like to try or stop doing and I even tried making light of the situation but he just says there's no problem and changes the subject which leaves me frustrated and wondering what's wrong with me. Its gotten so bad it keeps me awake at night. Please help!
communication with husband
communication with husband
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Self Care, Men's Business, Behaviour
3 Replies
From a fellow mum with high sex drive!!! I think your reading way too much into the sex thing. Everyone experiences drops in sex drive for various reasons in their lives and it's not always about sex! It can be stress at work, just feeling a bit down, or generally run down, a medical problem, financial worries etc. And by wanting to discuss it and you obsessing about it it's probably making it worse. Try and back off, relax, take some time for some self stimulation for a while. If after a few months things aren't back on track in 3 months then raise the issue with him again.
Also be careful when your trying to discuss things with him your not talking 'AT' him. I have a tendency to this and it just makes the person I'm talking to shut down. I had it happen to me the other day by someone I've never met and I just wanted to run away lol
I am not an open talker, please don't take it to heart that he doesn't it could be that he is finding it hard to find the right words to not hurt your feeling or because you are reading to much into something and he doesn't see it as a big issue. As for the sex thing, leave it be the more you talk about it the worse he will feel and will put him off, I know because my ex was always up in my face about sex it was the worst thing he could have done. Maybe also talk to your counsellor about ways you can help him to feel he can talk to you.