I have two children aged 9 and 5 and they dont pick up after themselves or do any chores or help around the house. I really want this to change to teach them some responsibility, self pride etc.
So what chores are your children doing? Do they do them daily or only on weekends? And what rewards and or consequences do you use to encourage the children to do their chores?
Please help as i have no idea where to start.
4 Replies
Start small with the responsibility of picking up after themselves. Things like hanging up their own towels in the bathroom, keeping their rooms tidy, putting dirty clothes in the basket (and you do not pick up after them - if they learn the lesson by having to use a wet towel to dry themselves or pick their way through a messy room to get to stuff so be it). Explain that you are not their maid and they do not live in a hotel: everyone in the house needs to pitch in and do their share. Move up from there to tidying common areas like living areas/playroom, have them alternate days or work together. For I would expect any child to do I wouldn't give rewards; praise when you see them doing it without beimg hassled. Feeling good about themselves will be much more rewarding then anything material you could give.
Once they get a good handle on their responsibilities you can add things like drying the dishes or stacking the dishwasher, chucking on a load of washing, feeding and caring for pets etc.
Daily from about 3:
Pack away own toys
Hang up towels after bath
Put dirty clothes in hamper
Put dirty dishes in sink
From 5 (took in turns):
Help unload dishwasher (I did sharp knives and heavy things).
Set table
From about 8(as needed):
Make own bed
Put folded up clothes away and hang up clean washing
Vacuum own bedroom floors
Take rubbish/recycling out
Unload dishwasher independently
Put own dirty dishes in dishwasher
From 12 (once a week):
Put own washing in machine turned on, hung out on line, brought in, and put away
Most of these jobs took hardly any time to do and meant because we were all pitching in and doing our part we got to outings, fun family stuff much faster.
I have a 7 year old and an 11 year old if they don't tidy their rooms and pack away toys etc they miss out on TV/technology time. We then have a list of jobs they get money for. Every Time they do a job they out a mark on their job chart bigger jobs they might get 2 or 3 marks every mark it worth 40cents we add it up at the end of each week half of their earnings go into a bank account they can't touch (will give it to them when they are older and want to use it for something worthwhile) the other half goes into a bank account that they can spend on whatever they like. Daily Jobs are make beds, set the table, wipe up, take recycling out. Then occasionally they might help weed the gardens,mash the cars, Polish the furniture that sort of thing
My 5 year old has to look after her room, making sure it's clean, doesn't work tho haha, she also has a turn of feeding the cats once a week, and she also helps out her older brothers with their jobs such as setting the table etc so when she gets a bit older she will have her turn,
As for 9, I have an 8 year old who's jobs include his bedroom, either setting the table, drying the dishes OR putting the dishes away, feeding the cats twice a week, and then my older ones get a different room each day to make sure is clean. Rooms include the bathroom, family room, toy room etc
We have a chores board and the chores get changed every day, if they finish all their chores then they get $1 added to their "special money". If they don't then they don't get their money. If they misbehave or do something really wrong then they get money taken away