I'm due any day now to have a baby and I am no longer with the father of our child.
I would like to give my child my last name instead of her father's last name or maybe a hyphenated last name consisting of mine and the father's last name.
The father of my child and I are talking but seeming as our child will be living with me, is it better to give our child my last name instead?
What are the benefits of this now and in the future?
Child's last name? Mum or Dad's or Hyphenated?
Child's last name? Mum or Dad's or Hyphenated?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Parenthood Guilt, Behaviour
7 Replies
Yes if I were in your situation I would use my own last name or hyphenate.
I used my own last name and honestly I'm glad now as my daughter has no contact with her bio at all. Hyphenated or the same last name as you is the best option in my opinion.
I would use my own name or a hyphenated.
I'm glad in the end I went with my own, as the father bolted when my son was 6 weeks, but I'd known deep down that's what would happen
I'd use my own, whoever full time carer is I think makes life easier. I think the stay at home parent should use theirs it's much easier when doing drs appointments, school, Medicare, swimming, travel, everything really. Practically, it doesn't matter when you have different names Noone bothers you or checks it, it's just another name that you have to say and spell out, and some people will automatically search under your name first. Seems minor but it Gets frustrating after awhile.
It's really something that you and him should decide together.
The only reasons I would give my child my last name and not their fathers, is if he was either a dead beat, he had no plans of being in the child's life, things like that.
If he feels strongly about having his last name and so do you, I would suggest hyphenating it.
I had my twin boys before my husband and I were married. I decided on his last name because we were in love and I had every intention of taking his last name one day. However if things were different I would have taken a different route. I think if you both plan on having custody of the child then having both last names would be nice. That way if one of you has child and goes on a holiday or have an emergency trip to the hospital people can see the last name matches. But if it will just be you in the picture then for sure give the child your last name!!
I was in your position and my biggest regret in naming my daughter is hyphenating her name. She is now almost 14 and has not seen her 'father' in 13yrs. If I knew then what I know now, I'd just have given her my name. Her bio father doesn't deserve to have her carry his name when he has been nothing but absent her whole life. My surname is first in the hyphenation so we just use mine anyway. The only places we use the full hyphenated name are in medical records and school enrolments. We just make sure that her 'known as' is just my surname so school photos are just the shortened name :)
At the end of the day, whatever you decide to do, do it because you want to. Don't do it for anyone else or because you think it's the 'right thing'. You are the one who has to live with the decision on a daily basis so follow your heart. Good luck Mumma :)