My dear friend has been very wrongly accused of neglecting one of her children (3 under 3) and the children have been taken into care by care and protection.
My friend has some phychological issues that she is being treated for, but it seems that these people at care and protection have looked at her and said 'must be you, you are unfit'.
She is doing everything that they are asking of her, and more! But they still want to place the children elsewhere for 2 years!
I completely get that the children must be kept safe and that is their priority, BUT in this case a horrible mistake has been made.
She has sought assistance from a solicitor (who was allocated to her)but to be honest I don't know if he is any good. The court date is coming up soon.
It is sickening to see how these children were ripped from their home and only allowed to see their mummy 2 hrs a week.
My question- what else can I do for her? Who can I write to to get this looked at, what can I do? I can't sit and watch idly by.
What else can she do?
No judgement needed, and yes I'm 100% certain it is a mistake.
Children taken into care and protection wrongly
Children taken into care and protection wrongly
Posted in:
Life Lessons
2 Replies
Someone asked on FB how they can be mistakingly take without investigation and I didn't want to answer there so am here.
We made numberous calls about my nephew, his head was shaved as the mice were eating his hair. My sister had some psychosis and wouldn't put rubbish out as she thought people were goign through it. This included dirty nappies. There was 2 years of nappies piled up in the bathroom, she had to walk on them to use the toilet. Clothes pulled out of the washing machine, half pulled out and left to rot. Skeletons of mice all over the flat, broken glass all over the floor where a kitchen cabinet fell down and she just left it all there. Bags and bags of rubbish piled up. The brand new cot mattress I bought my nephew was covered in mould.
We were told to count the bags of rubbish and count the mice and no one would come.
Eventually my mum and a Dr family friend went to child protection and and met with people and the dr said he had grave concerns for both of their safety. (she had also said she would kill her son and her if she thought he would be taken from her - blackmain to stop us calling child protection when we found out the conditions they were living in I guess.) Mum got told to go home, have a cup of tea, and that they were sure she would realise it wasn't as bad as that.
They went to the CAT team (crisis assessment team) who basically said the same thing. Mum said that she wasn't leaving until they agreed to just come and look at the flat, if they felt she was ok after that, mum would leave them alone.
They came out, at the front door, they knew before they enetered and saw the worst, and looked at my mum and said, "we have to take your daughter to hospital!" They rang child services who of course then became involved.
I went to court and was given a tempory custody order whilst my sister was in hospital, she had to live with me if she wanted to be with her son when she got out of hospital.
They just gave him back not long after.
The speech therpast said he'd never learn to talk, but I knew he was fine, she didn't understand the neglect, my sister didn't speak to him for fear he would learn to talk and say something about how they lived. She sent him to a family daycare lady who didn't speak english.
I begged and pleaded for them to leave him with me a little longer, that she should have to earn him back, show that she was better. That boy is now 18 and a total retard from living with a bpd fckd up mother. When he's lived with me, on and off throughout his life he's become more normal, then they go off and he reverts back to retard.
The education system are aware of him, I begged his yr 7 co-ordinater who was organising home schooling for him to please not let him out of the system, he needed to be in the system where people could keep an eye on him and that my sister was very sick. She said she knew she was sick and was frustrated she wasn't hanging back the paperwork. Umm hello, she's sick! no she is not going to hand in paperwork and do what needs to be done!
She said he didn't need an education because he had aspergas and would always have to live with her anyway (I don't think he has aspergas - has never been diagnosed, I think he is disordered from living with a disordered mother, basically he has fckd up mother syndrome) So she didn't feel he needed and education so wasn't handing in the paper work for him to be home schooled. Eventually St Lukes got involved and got the paperwork signed and tutored him a couple of hours a week.
So yeah, basically, I can tell you from personal experience that no matter how often you complain,they do squat, then when they get a report from say the CAT team, then they act, but they are as useless as tits on a bull.
Anyway, I hope the mum in question is able to attend the court date and show that she is a fit mother and keep her kids. There will be a court date, they don't just take them.
To all the do-gooders on the fb post, it would be so lovely to live in a world where docs never removed a child wrongly. People make false accusations, even doctors have by only seeing a small portion of someone's life and jumping to conclusions. FACS are people, people can be misled, misguided and make mistakes. I'm so glad you all live in a world that is so black and white!
Meanwhile, back to reality, to the OP.... Firstly the best thing you can do is support your friend in any way that you can. If as you say, her children have been taken incorrectly then she is in for the battle of her life.
Give her this advice from me, she needs to do as much research as she possibly can. Don't rely on her lawyer to do it. Be proactive. What will happen is it will go to court and there will be many court days most likely monthly. FACS will have to submit their 'evidence'. Your friend will have the opportunity to submit in response an 'affidavit'. This is her opportunity to respond to the evidence and accusations made. She should write it factually without emotion. She needs to show insight into her faults and shortcomings. We all have them and a court and facs will worry if there appears to be no insight. She needs to be able to state all the ways in which she is doing her best and bring to attention the positive aspects of her parenting.
If there are family who are willing to take temporary custody then they should be assessed as its better for children to be with family.
She needs to show the court multiple things. One is that she has support. Whether that be family, friends or support services such as family support. If she needs a mental health day each week she could for example put her children in daycare (family daycare is cheaper) and show that she is willing to do that in order to prioritize her mental health and therefor her children.
It is absolutely imperative that she records everything. Every conversation with a facs worker/foster carer, every message left, all important conversations in person or on the phone should be followed up with an email to that person saying 'just to clarify, today we discussed...' She must record her visits with her children. EVERYTHING. These notes could become crucial at some point in court proceedings if she disagrees with anything that has taken place, she will have much more weight by being able to respond that on the 1st of January at 3.15pm I attended a meeting at facs and at no time was x/y/z said etc.
Her children are at a crucial age in development. They need to be bonding with her at their age. This should be part of the lawyers argument.
I don't know what her mental health issues are but I do know that some are better understood than others. She needs to make treatment her number one priority.
Lastly, she needs to ensure that no matter what happens, she does not lose her cool at anyone, do not swear, do not attack. Easier said than done when she would obviously feel attacked. Use logic in her discussions rather than emotional arguments.
Tell her to be strong, keep it together and know that this journey and battle ahead will be the battle of a lifetime. But if she can keep it together and take it step by step then she will hopefully get the outcome desired. Good luck to her.