At what age is it appropriate for children to take on chores and household responsibility?
I have three children, aged 7, 6 and 3 and they have chores that they must do each week. Each of the older girls is responsible for their own school lunches. We help with the main lunch component, but they have to get their snack, dairy, treat and water bottles. They are also responsible for packing their own school bags and remembering things like hats, homework, etc. They have to empty their own school bags and lunch boxes when they come home, put freezer packs back in the freezer and put school bags and shoes away. They have to help with meal planning each week (so they get to see what I am doing and why I am doing it, as well as them getting a say in what we are eating etc). Once a week each of the older girls cooks dinner, with help/supervision of an adult. They are expected to make their beds every morning, help wash their sheets once a week, and put their dirty washing in the laundry hamper. They put their own clothes away in their dressers, and help their little sister put hers away too. They help to stack the dishwasher every other day and to unpack it every other day, set the tables morning and night and clear it when they are done. They are also expected to put away their own toys and keep their toyroom tidy properly. They have recently started making their own breakfasts (either toast and fruit or cereal).
Lately they have started to express an interest in what is happening in the yard, so aside from keeping their own toys tidy in the yard, they have also started helping with gardening, watering plants, weeding and mowing the yard (under strict supervision!)
They also do their homework as well as dancing, swimming and music lessons.
The three year old has to put her own clothes in the laundry, put her shoes in the shoe box, and keep her toys tidy. In the morning she helps to get out her own breakfast and for the bulk of the day she follows me around 'helping'. She knows how to use the washing machine, helps me to sweep and mop, hang out washing, dust, wipe down counters and surfaces, clean bathrooms etc.
Recently I got into an argument with a friend after she saw a photo of my children 'helping' to mow the lawn and got a whole load of abuse and ended up getting deleted over it... now this is a friend who I have had since school, so for her to react in such a way suddenly has me second guessing everything I am doing.
She has accused me of not allowing my children to play and be children. (believe me, they do actually do plenty of that!) But at the same time, I was not given chores and I didn't have a good example set for me when I was a child and as a result I moved out of home with no understanding of cooking, cleaning or financial responsibility, so I do not want to see my children end up going through what I have. I want them to learn from an early age so that this kind of basic cleanliness becomes second nature and is done without a thought instead of them becoming lazy slobs like my sister still is.
6 Replies
In my opinion they might be a bit young for mowing (but weeding with gloves on is fine). Other than that, keep up the good work. My son is 16. Does his own washing including soaking, and hanging out as there is no dryer. He can cook a basic meal (spag bol), prefers to prepare FRZ meals though, and can wash dishes ok. He vacuums the floors, keeps his room tidyish and feeds and waters the dogs. He also makes his own bed and washes his own sheets. He rarely mows as that is a chore he can choose to do for money. Same with washing the cars but he kinda sucks at it so I don't mind that he doesn't do that lol. He is in charge of his own financial decisions ie spending vs saving and has just opened his first bank account. I talk to him about wages, cost of living and how to pay bills. He has been rasied to do all this from a young age - same as you - just by helping at first until he was ready to take over. I'm guessing he will eventually be quite the catch for some lucky girl :D
I agree, mowing lawns is quite a physical job, I used to mow my parents acreage from the age of 14 and the mower is heavy and somewhat difficult to manoeuvre. I won't be letting my girls mow our small lawn until they are teenagers and strong enough.
I think what you are doing is great!! You said any of the 'dangerous' jobs are supervised, so they are learning how to manage dangerous situations as well as how to care for them selves. People forget that you are raising adults, and if you want them to be independent self sufficient adults, you need to teach them as children. My 6 yr old has a long list of chores around the house (i have gotten a bit slack in the regularity of these, but will pick up). I want him to be a man who can care for himself. I also refuse to be his servant, and the best way for him to appreciate what i do, is to help! Might be harsh, but stuff your so called friend. Because besides anything else, your kids, not hers, so to over react like that is just silly!
The only thing I wouldn't have them do is the mowing, even supervised its still rather dangerous. But eveything else is perfect. They have plenty of time to "be kids" because in the scheme of things it really doesn't take long for them to do those chores. Good job, a lot of people could learn from your example.
You're a great mum, I believe if you're part of the household it's your responsibility to help and how fantastic your kids actually want to help! My kids are 12, 11 and 9 they do all of the above plus each week one has to either vacuum, clean the toilets or look after the pets. My 12 year old also does the clothes washing & folding and the 11 year old helps wash the cars for extra pocket money. I do think mowing is a little dangerous, my dad had a stone flick into his leg when I was little it required 6 stitches so we weren't even allowed outside when the mower was going after that... 14 or 15 is probably a good age for lawn mowing :)
"Too young" Wow you are incredibly organized and it is great that you are teaching your children to be independent. However be careful not to load too much responsibility onto such young children, kids need to be kids. School alone can put a lot of pressure on children and each child differs in how much they can handle. Only my opinion but I think they are too young for this amount of housework, I say stop stressing mumma, you have plenty of time to teach them from 10 to 18 years old.