I urgently need some advice. I was pointed towards this page by a friend of mine and I'm hoping I will find some answers here.
My son (5) is due to have surgery (adenoidtonsilectomy) in mid February.
His biological father has been estranged and has not seen him and There has been absolutely no contact despite trying to do mediation etc. He has had my contact details etc the entire time, but quite frankly does not want to be a father.
My husband is my son's Dad. My son doesn't even know who his biological father is. We separated when he was 18months old.
There is a history of domestic violence and abuse as well.
My question: is there a Legal obligation to tell him about the surgery?
I am absolutely terrified and honestly don't know what to do.
Please no judgement, I needs advice and support :(
Child Surgery. do I tell estranged parent?! urgent
Child Surgery. do I tell estranged parent?! urgent
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Parenthood Guilt, Kids
6 Replies
My son has had plenty of surgeries etc without his father being told. He did the bolt when my son was a few weeks old and I had no idea where he was even if it had occurred to me to tell him. Telling him would probably achieve nothing other than causing more harm than good. It was the fathers choice to check out and there is no moral obligation for you to contact him. I don't think there is even a legal obligation. Its quite normal for only one parent to attend drs appointments and surgeries anyway and Ive never been asked about my sons father by a medical professional.
Thanks. It's nice to hear of personal experience. I do have a phone number, whether it's active or not, I don't know. I don't want to know really. The first thing people ask about is if he pays child support. Yes he does. CSA does collection and have ever since we seperate. Still he chooses to stay away.
I just don't want to get in trouble by the law if that makes sense
No, no legal requirements :)
Goodluck to you and your son for the op
Unless the hospital are asking for his permission to then no. And on a moral obligation note - no (incase you were wondering lol).
So far they are only asking for my signature etc.
I'm definately feeling a lot better seeing these comments
My son went through the same surgery when he was 3 and it was a tough recovery so good luck but it was the best thing for him as he's alot better now as he was suffering from severe sleep apnea. Anyway with your question. No you don't have any legal requirements to tell him and if its in your sons and your best interest then you dont need to tell him. It was obviously his decision to stay out of your sons life. But if it was a serious life threatening surgery I would say yes to telling him. But good luck and let him eat plenty of ice cream