Sorry for the long post.
To start with I was a victim of hold sexual assault from my mother her boyfriend and then the neighbours boyfriend.
A few months ago my DD told me her grandad had licked his finger and touched her. I have done everything in my power to do what needs to be done. We have spoken to police. They have agreed she is telling the truth but because of her age an she doesn't describe him like an adult would he will et away with it. Knowing how the court system works from personal experience I felt it would do more harm than good for her to be dragged through a court case that could take years without a positive outcome for her.
Now my ex her bio father and his dad who is the grandad. Says he believes her but thinks she's confused and his dad didn't do it. Just need some advice on how do I get him to try to understand or slightly even comprehend that she maybe ok now but as he gets older and is able to understand the situation more and what happene that if we don't do anything now it could cause more damage than good. I don't want to jus sit back and go she's ok now so oh well and then wait till she is a complete mess in a few years and do something and it be too late to help her.
4 Replies
The best thing you can do for your daughter, despite your ex's opinion, is get her counseling. Don't worry about trying to convince your ex that she is not confused. Your daughter is your priority right now.
You do the best thing for your daught. If that means counseling then so be it if thst means no contact with the grandfather then so be it. If her dad doesnt understand and contiues to allow her to visit his dad then his visits stops. The best thing to do is PROTECT your daughter.
I am the IM. It's child not hold. My phone auto corrected it.
And no he didn't lick his finger and wipe a smudge away. She has been completely toilet trained since 2 she is very mature for her age she can hold a good conversation and doesn't get babied at all so there is NO reason for his hands to be on that part of her body she is more Han capable of wiping a smudge away herself.
What do you mean when you say she doesn't describe him as an adult? Big hugs xx