I have a 6 yr old dd. I find I am compleatly frustrated with her lack of concentration. She is a very smart child. She has the ability to do vey well. However as she struggles to focus on everything she is falling behind. Schools, social, sports, life in general. She is obsessed by being the best and winning. My husband and I are honestly disappointed. We know she can do it if she would just turn her mind off to everything else and focus. We spend a lot of time with her as she's interested and wants to learn. We give her options to just go and play or draw etc she wants to do her homework or sport she'll sit and do it for hours, just not correctly as she's not focused. Honestly I feel like wer waiting our time. She just can't focus on the task. Once she gets an idea or answer in her head she's stuck on it no matter how many different ways we try and show her the correct answer or get her to help work it out. We've been told "she's just a kid, she's ok, don't worry."
Has anyone else got a child like this and have you found positive ways to get them to focus on the things they want to do???
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3 Replies
Get her assessed by a paediatrician if you haven't already. Does she actually understand the content she is being asked to do. Is she really falling behind or is that your perception? Falling behind compared to who? Your child's learning should never feel like a waste of time! I'm concerned about your attitude so yeah it's time to get professional help. Rule out anything like autism/ dyslexia/ as that often gets missed in girls (I was diagnosed with autism as an adult and you described me as a child pretty much).
Look at an assessment by a speech therapist, does she actually comprehend what us written and said to her. Speech therapists don't just work on speech they work on reading comprehension etc.
Yes my daughter is the same try not to be angry at her as I started getting frustrated with my child thinking she was just plain lazy and stubborn but turns out the school assessed her and she has a learning disability with comprehending information, they are unsure what the disorder is called as she's still getting assessed but the school has been fantastic and giving her one on one, maybe let the school know your concerns
This sounds exactly like my daughter. I had her assessed as many are telling you to do. And yes, the pediatrician mentioned ADD. It never even crossed my mind prior and I kind of rejected the idea, as I'd always thought of it in a 'hyperactive' light, which my daughter definitely is not. Whether or not she 'has' it, I've found the biggest thing I got from the Ped' was not to hound her or whinge at her. Accept her for who she is. He said many kids with ADD grow up with low self esteem because of parents that constantly bark at them, or get so frustrated with them, because they aren't focusing. This has changed how I interact with her. She's 9 now. She still doesn't focus well. I could give her an instruction to go get something out of the kitchen... she'll walk in the kitchen, walk out and go sit on the couch. I'll ask her if she got it and she won't even remember me saying it. She'll completely 'zone out' when watching Tv, or reading a book and will not hear A WORD that anybody is saying. She does struggle with lessons at school that are long. I've found ways to get through to her. At the moment, times tables are really hard for her. Reward systems instead of nagging and criticising have been the best thing I've ever done. I went to the $2 shop and bought a heap of little gifts for cheap, wrapped them all and every time she learns a set of tables, she gets a gift. Sticker charts work well. I've figured out her currency. Her currency is confidence. Praise seems to give her drive. The pediatrician was absolutely right about that. I still do get super frustrated at times with her. But I try my best to not put that onto her. I sometimes crack it, of course. I'm human. But I try. Every person on this planet is different. You cannot change her, but you can work with her and FOR her. Instead of hanging on to 'disappointment' and working against her. Whether she has an official ADD diagnosis or not, makes no difference. You just have to figure out a way to get through to her. Try being super postive. Praise all the little things she does well. Introduce a sticker chart for completed work. Or whatever it is she needs to stay on task with. And when you find those disappointing, frustrating feelings creeping in, take a big deep breath and walk out of the room. Don't throw them at her. I bet you see a big difference. Not a changed daughter. But one that might try harder within herself because she has more confidence. That's what I've found.