Hi sisterhood,
I'm feeling somewhat down today. I've got two children a 3 yo and a baby just turned one. I have breastfed bub and am still feeding a bit, but my concern is that it's been a hard slog... My first child was easy to breastfeed and I had a really positive experience but my second child has been v hard to feed and figure out. I've persisted with breastfeeding even though it's been a battle to maintain my supply (been making lactation cookies, drinking herbal nursing tea and taking fenugreek tablets and pumping a lot too) as I wanted to treat both children the same... But it's just been really hard.
Now I'm stressing about whether I've just worried too much about it all and spent my baby's whole first year worried about this too much and not enjoying time together enough with my two kids. I have to go back to work soon and I'm sad about this. I don't want to feel regret about this precious time.
I've enjoyed moments with my kids but I've also worried a lot. They just grow so fast I want to make the most of every second with them.
I'm not sure this is even a question, but more just a vent and wondering if anyone else has been through something similar...
Pls no judgement as I'm already second guessing my choices and what's best... I have nothing against formula and now wonder why I've put so much pressure on myself to treat both the same and to push breastfeeding so long when the baby probably doesn't even care and perhaps being worried and stressed about it has been worse on my relationship with the baby... I worry that the baby doesn't have the same strong connection and attachment to me that my first born seemed to (though I love both children so very much)!
Pls know this is not an attack on either breastfeeding or formula feeding, just my experience this time and trying to work through my decisions and finding peace and not regret etc...
Pls be kind this is my first time writing in, but I love this sisterhood and follow it religiously!
Thanks
4 Replies
Firstly well done on both accounts with breast feeding, I personally think that as mums we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do what society wants us to do. unfortunately I wasn't able to breast feed my 2 and pumped and formula fed. Kids do grow up very fast these days. Please don't second guess any of your decisions you've done what you feel is right for you and Bub
Different children have different needs. Some are going to Breastfeeding, some are not. Breastfeeding does not guarantee a strong bond between mother and baby. It's ok to say this isn't working for my child or me and do something different. Totally ok. Raising children is a marathon, not a sprint so what happens in the first few years of a child's life (especially how they are fed) is not going to predict long term relationships and bonding.
I breast fed for a few months, my son is now 20, we are the closest mum and son you could imagine.
I hope to offer you some words of comfort; you are doing a fantastic job. Your babies are very lucky to have a mama who works so hard to do what she feels is the best thing for them.
My advice to anyone feeling guilty or conflicted about a parenting choice, especially one that's in the past; let it go. You have done the very best you can. Your babies are safe, happy and loved. Keep doing what's right for you and your family.
That said, if it's weighing that heavily on your mind and you feel like you can't get past it, seek some help. Go see your GP. Talk about depression (post-natal in particular).
Their is so much of a push for breastfeeding right now. I understand that's what's best for baby ect but for women like myself that no matter what you did the milk supply just wasn't their. Rather than have my children starve they went onto formula. Don't be down on yourself if you have to use formula it's not the end of the world. Atleast your children are healthy and fed.