Hi IMs,
Just after some advice and hopefully helpful tips.
So I'm officially done having kids & really want my tubes tied, the problem is I'm only in my early 20s, I tried talking to my doctor about it but he basically brushed it off and suggested other forms of birth control saying "You are still young and could change your mind one day" boy is he wrong, I know I will not change my mind I look at my family and know in my heart it is complete.
I personally can not understand why they don't like to do it before 30, can anyone explain? Who are they to tell me when I'm done having kids? I know what I can handle and more kids are not something I can handle, nor is it something I want.
I currently have the implanon and we use condoms but I don't want to have to use condoms for the next 6 years, nor continue to have the implanon. Each of our children is due to a form of birth control failing and I just want something more reliable without having to make my partner get the snip when I know he's not very keen on that idea, if he was he'd surely have done it already as we have been talking about this being our last since we found out I was pregnant.
Is there anyway I can show my doctor that having my tubes tied is what's best for me and my family? Should I try a different doctor? Has anyone had theirs done before 30?
Any advice would be much appreciated.
5 Replies
My SIL is having a hysterectomy at 25. If you are absolutely sure just keep demanding it is your body and they will do it if you can convince them it's what you really want. However in saying that are you absolutely sure it's what you want? Could things change in another 5 years? Also have you talked to your partner about getting a vasectomy, you said he's not keen but it is a less invasive procedure for the male than the female if yous are both definately done
Firstly even having your tubes tied has a failure rate. My friend got pregnant 3 times and my sister once! So if you are very fertile two forms of contraceptive would probably be necessary. The reason they don't like doing it is because people change there minds and end up paying a fortune in fertility treatments and surgery. Plus there are some very real risks and side effect including heavier periods and many women end up having the mirena inserted to control the bleeding after the tubes are tied
Getting your partner to have the snip is much less invasive. Also they test his sperm after 3/6mths etc to make sure their aren't any live swimmers around. Once u get the ok then u can stop using condoms.
Getting your tubes tied is a major operation, where as the snip is day surgery, in and out and only a day or so recovery. Id be talking to him again if he was really keen for no more kids he would get it. A friend of mine her hubby is petrified of needles, would never get them see his kids get them but got the snip for his wife as they had 3 kids and that was plenty. Knowing his afraid of needles he was I knew he only had his wife's best interest at heart and it showed he wanted to do his part for her.
By some of the FB replies we'd be hard pressed getting that someone to do that also as his under 30 as well.
I was 26. Had to have surgery anyway to assess for endometriosis and doctor mentioned tube clamping while he was already doing the invasive surgery before he realized i was so young. As soon as i realized it was an option i jumped on it he tried to back peddal but i insisted that with 2 of my own and 2 step kids I'm busy enough. He still tried to refuse because i have only had 2 children of my own. i then asked him if he would perform my abortion if i got accidentally pregnant on the pill etc or if he was willing to adopt it if i got pregnant. The answer to both was no and he booked me for 3 months later. I think he made me wait to give me more time to think but i got it done and a year later couldn't be happier.
Its not a nice surgery and recovery is much harder and longer than if your man gets the snip. My partner was more than willing to get it done and would have if i didn't need surgery anyway.