Hi IM's,
Not sure if I'm asking for advice or just venting.
I'm a mum of 2 girls, 3&5, married, work too many very high stress high risk jobs to make ends meet.
My girls are divine but I can't help but feel that I squash their spirits every second they are around me.
I feel so stressed all the time, and I have a super short fuse. I yell a lot, and feel I parent via threats all the time just to get them to do as I ask (eg after several times telling them to get dressed after a shower it end us with me saying something like "if you don't come here to get dressed it will mean no book at bedtime, or toy taken away" etc).
I am also quite strict.
All in all they are good kids.
I feel like I'm a horrible mum.
A ball of stress, worry, angst and annoyance.
I feel very alone, and so guilty every second of every day.
Bad mum?
Bad mum?
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt
2 Replies
Might be time to get help for that anxiety, it's horrible feeling that way.
It sounds like you want to change. firstly, be kind to yourself. We are our own worst critics. I saw a psychologist who really helped me practically and mentally turn it all around, I really recommend you do that, you'll see and feel different with every visit.
Here's some tips she gave me: schedule your time, every hoUr of every day, so you schedule in yoUr time with children so that in that time you are not thinking about, stressing about or doing other things, you are focused and present with your kids. It's quality time. It might not be long, but it's so good. For me this was 5 - 7.30 the dinner bath bed period and then bigger periods on weekends. Also schedule time for yourself.even If you put them in a class on Saturday, or time out with their dad, or family or friends. And use that time to destress and recharge yourself. Some time out can really make a huge difference, as can re starting refreshed.
Good luck it's hard to make change!