I feel like a terrible mother. I have 3 kids and all I seem to do is yell at them and don't treat them as a mum should. I think something is really wrong with me because I just snap and have a temper and often smack the biggest one for no serious reason except that he has just pushed me too far. I feel awful because I feel like I almost have a split personality with them, one minute I'll be telling them how much I love them and the next I am so angry over one not eating a sandwich or something and I just lose it. I don't punch or beat them, and I do try other forms of discipline first but sometimes I have to really force myself to walk away cos I'm scared that I one day I might hurt them. I feel awful cos I feel like I put them down when I tell them off. I was raised by an awful mother who was always drunk and emotionally and physically abusing me and I am terrified I talk to my kids this way. I don't get help with them and I am exhausted physically and emotionally and I can't cope. I have huge amounts of other stress in my life and that keeps making me so highly stressed that I am constantly at breaking point so the smallest thing and I am so mad. Please help, how can I break the cycle and where can I go for help. I am at the point of feeling like such a failure I think it's best my kids didn't live with me, I love them so much and I don't know how to live without them and I feel like it would be so much better for my kids if I'm not in their lives as they grow up so I think it's best I give them a chance of a new home they have a chance to be saved from their awful psycho mother. Who do I contact so someone will save my kids from me.
7 Replies
I think the best person to see in your GP and get some support in place for yourself. Your not alone in feeling like a horrible parent. It's not easy and I know I am more often than not at my wits end and yell and sadly swear at my children. I hate it and I try so hard to keep calm, I have diagnosed depression and anxiety and since seeking professional help things have improved.
Mama you need to ease up on yourself. If you're really struggling with your feelings please, please get in touch with someone. Call a friend or even Lifeline if you have no one else.
I strongly recommend you see a dr as it sounds like you're really struggling. Ask to be referred to a counselor and get them to assess you for depression. Also see if there's a PPP Parenting course near you. Many, many people who've had traumatic or troubled upbringings seek to break the cycle with their kids but don't have the tools in their parenting "toolbox" to do so. There is no shame in asking for help to make things better.
You are a great mother and you are doing the best you can xxxx
I think the bravest thing a mum can do is reach out for help when struggling. I think your very brave and very strong and obviously love your kids.
Make a long appointment with your GP they should be able to get you started on the road to a happier life for you and your kids. It sounds like you could do with some support for yourself personally like a psychologist and a child psychologist could help you develop effective parenting techniques.
This has touched me and made me cry because I too feel this way. I have so much happening in my life right now, the stress of everything going downhill for me is making me want to give up. My ex left us recently for someone else and boy the kids and I have had a tough few months. We moved house we changed towns schools and i am now looking for work, am struggling financially, can barely put food on the table, only use the car if we need to so we save petrol for important things, while their father cuts off contact with us and doesnt give our kids money for anything. My 9 year old daughter has been so ignorant since he left, she doesnt listen, i literally repeat the same thing to her 3-4times 100times a day before I end up yelling and finally she does what I asked, but she will do it angrily, with attitude and bang evrything around, I yell louder & she'll cry because just me yelling is scary. Tonight she ignored me and I broke down and cried like an idiot in front of my kids and I said something to her I regretted immediately I told her I wish I could die so I wouldnt have to handle any of this and put up with her ignoring me all the time I told her I couldnt take it anymore and told her to start looking for a new mum. She said no and walked into her room. I sat on the floor crying like a baby for a good 20mins before she came and asked if I was ok and looked sad. I hugged her so tight and told her how sorry i waz and how much i love her. My litle daughter, 2 woke up and cuddled with us. i told them both they are my everything my strength and even though mummy was having a hard time i could and never would give up on them. i told my oldest that she needs to listen. to help me.. help our little family. she told me she was sorry i asked her why does she always ignore me she told me she just gets distracted and forgets and sometimes she just doesnt want to listen . tomorrow is a new day we will try again and keep trying we are not perfect.. but we are all our kids have. try mumma try to be the mum you know you are. you deserve those kids and they you, dont give up .. im not. We can do this x
You both made me cry...
My day today consisted of repetitive words. Over and over again.
I do this on my own as my partner works away. I guess something we all have in common is lack of us time.
I don't really have anyone to send my children to overnight so I can have a very much needed break & daycare for one of my children under 5 is too expensive.
I feel I'm too hard on my children, I don't "flog" them, they get time out but that's not saying that they don't get a smack.
Don't give up on your children, they need you. Maybe talk to your GP & see if there are any programs to help you cope.
I know that they do a triple P parenting program in some community centres.
There is also a parent help line where you can call and talk to qualified people & they can talk you through situations your having with your children.
1300 30 1300
Oh hunny. I just want to give
you a big hug! As mums I think the hardest thing to do is admit that you're struggling. We feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders sometimes. But you have asked for help! Straight away that tells me that you want things to be different, that you want to make a positive change. That alone tells me you are not an awful mother, but in fact perhaps a person who is much stronger than they realise. I too am prone to snapping at the kids for little things, and have had days I feel much the same as you so you are not alone! I'm on anti-depressants these days and it's given me better control over my emotions though I still have bad days. however if you are feeling like it is getting out of hand, speak to your GP ASAP. They will be able to direct you to the best help available in your area. Best of luck mama, hugs to you x
I could have written this myself. I am a stay at home Mum of 4 kids (2 in primary school, 2 aged 4 and 2)...My younger 2 drive me mental day in and day out, all I find myself doing is yelling and admittingly swearing at them. I honestly think its because we are so bored and lonely, we basically stay in 4 walls day in and day out and everything becomes so repetitive and monotonous. im so tired mentally that I cant even be bothered with taking them to the park because that just all turns into such a drama...and basically i just don't want to deal with it. My older 2 (7 &6 ) cop a lot of my frustrations from the day sometimes even them just talking to me which I always apologise for afterwards but the little ones give them as much hell when they get home from school. I have no real friends, either do the children and I blame myself 100% for that, either my husband doesn't like my friends (there fore I avoid seeing them to not cause drama at home) or I just stopped trying to meet people...at the end of the day I give my children a kiss and cuddle and apologise if I need too, they wake up forgetting if I was horrible to them...your a brave Mumma for speaking out and giving us other Mums a chance to let you know you aren't alone. Being a parent is hard, its challenging in every single way but you can come back from feeling this way xx