Hi guys i need some advice /vent
so i recently had my second baby and i didn't feel that instant feeling of love like i did with my first you know like something just melts inside you. i just don't feel connected or anything he is very demanding cries if your not holding him. His bottle fed and feeds every 2 hrs so is physically draining hubby works alot so is barley home i ofter find myself balling my eyes out because i feel like i cant cope anymore. As he won't let me put him down without him crying im left sleeping on the couch every night sitting up. Im at my wits end, as bad as this sounds ive often thought about running off with my first born but i could never actually do it or driving into a tree or something (these thoughts are only when im emotional and have had little to no sleep) like i said i could never actually do it. Im on anti depression tablets as i got it before i fell pregnant again i find it really hard to talk to a counselor or to anyone really. Ive told hubby how i feel and he thinks i need to talk to someone before i get like i did before falling pregnant (i use to take pain killers to ease my pain and numb my feelings) i feel like im crazy and everyone els thinks it to i just dont know what to do anymore the main thing thats killing me atm is not sleeping in a bed there is nothing i would love more right now sorry for the long post any advice or tips would be great thank you. I should also mention ive tried different formula to get him to feed 3 hrs but it doesnt agree with him his 8 weeks old
2 Replies
My son was a 2hour feeder too. You need to go see your GP ASAP. It sounds like your meds need adjusting. You are not crazy just depressed, exhausted etc. Hubby needs to man up and take some night duty so you can catch up on sleep. Sleep deprivation can send you insane, it is a form of torture, as baby is bottle fed there is no reason why hubby can't take a night or two a week. Also on weekends get him to take the baby during the day so you can get some sleep.
Yeah some counselling might be helpful. Yeah it can be embarrassing but so helpful. Otherwise beyond blue dies online counselling which might make you feel braver.
But for now your priority should be hubby taking the baby for a night so you can sleep. If hubby has any leave owing now might be a great time for him to take it. Don't be afraid to ask him for what you need.
Please go and see your doctor again. I had post natal depression but didn't get the help I needed. Two years on I love my son to the moon and back but it was hard as he didn't sleep and it made me mental and not able to enjoy motherhood they way I had hoped. If I had my time again I would go without hesitation to my gp. Sleep deprivation makes you loopy add depression and its a horrible situation. I understand what you're going through you're not alone. Go to a psychologist that specialises in post natal depression.