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So I'm a single mum to a beautiful 13 month boy. Getting close to 30 and am not planning to meet the one any time soon (unless he come knocking on my door) so I have had a hard think about my future and I want nothing more then to be a mum to more then 1. I would love my boy to grow up with a brother or sister. Even on my hard days I can't help but look at my son and be filled with so much live and joy and I would love to share this. I am looking at going through sperm donating. Yes this may sound crazy but I can't wait and hope I may settle down and regret not having anymore children. So would like some options, opinions advise really anything as I really am not sure where to start...... Please no judgement only looking for support and advise thank you..... Located melb
8 Replies
My advice is wait. You have a 13 month old and are only 30. Things can change very quickly. Bringing a child into the world deliberately without two parents is a big deal. Don't get me wrong I'm not judging. Just saying wait a year or two you might be very surprised.
Also you'd want to be earning your own money etc and be able afford to pay for this baby without centrelink benefits. Creating a new child deliberately that centrelink has to pay for other than FTB is just plain wrong!
I'm not sure anywhere in this posters question it says she's on payments from centerlink... Why because she stated she's a single mother And even if she was how is that your business to judge ..... How do you know she Dosent work or have her own business... and just so your aware having a child dosent all consist on how much money you have to throw around.
read my statement againI wasn't saying she was on centrelink
Yes you pretty much were!!
Im single mum of one and am COMPLETLY self sufficient and could have another baby (or 10 if i wanted) and yes still wouldn't need centrelink. The comment was completely unnecessary and just plain deplorable.
Is family tax benefit okay to receive because you get it? But other centrelink payments aren't?
hahaha I've got to laugh because I don't get FTB and I couldn't give a toss what payments this lady is currently on. MY POINT WAS that you would want to be independent financially to deliberately have another baby because thats not fair to tax payers! In fact if you must know I get a carer payment because my son is so sick he needs 24hrs care! However at times I've also been a tax payer. I am incredibly grateful for the payments I receive. I have no problems with people who need benefits because SHIT happens I would have a problem with myself if I made my son sick or pretended he was sick so I could collect payments.
Only do it if you have support & a firm commitment from either family or friends that they will be free to help. You will often need their help at inconvenient times....at night to fetch medicine or supplies or make dinners. They may have to look after your sick children...which lets be honest is not the most fun thing to do. They may have to play taxi if you get held up or are unable to drop children at school childcare. Its great in theory & everyone will say they will be there & they will for the fun bits but its hard to comtinuously expect people to help you out when you make a conscious decision to go it alone...raising a children alone is not impossible but can drain the life out of you during tough times when 1 isnt sleeping or is ill or having problems. Constantly asking for peoples help will pressure your friends and family. I guess ive had a 'friend' in this position & chose not to continue the friendship as I felt pressured to help with her family constantly. Also if something where to happen to you...is there someone willing to take on your 2 children...just something to think about. You're only 30, I didnt have my 1st until I was 34 & met my fiance a year before falling pregnant...dont rob yourself the chance to have a complete family and enjoy this wonderful journey with a partner you love. Goodluck whatever you decide :)