I am finding it very hard to be peaceful with my in laws
My little miss (only child) is 1 of 6 grandchild all 8 and under
She is the youngest and born christmas day.
At a few weeks old we had to travel 8 hrs for them to meet her ( our cost)
since then she has seen her nanna twice ( we paid for her to travel)
Her poppy 4 times ( we paid for his travel)
Yet my parents who lived 22 hrs away traveled to see her every 8 to 10 weeks just to hold her and see her THEN
Her first christmas/ birthday she did not see her grandparents nore hear from them no card nothing . They did not attend her birthday party a week later
She is the only grandchild this has happened with and they act like they have done nothing wrong and all the while I hold my toung as they are my wonderful husband's parents and he loves them but every day I have a little more resentment toward them as I feel my little miss is missing out I often ask
Why her?
Why must I pay for them to see her?
Why is she not as special as the rest?
My question is ...
Am I being silly ? Am I over reacting? Should I say something and risk a massive family fall out ?
am I overreacting about my in-laws
am I overreacting about my in-laws
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Behaviour
5 Replies
Don't say anything. If Hubby wants to change it, then its up to him, his parents his responsibility. If he is fine with it, then you need to support him on this. Your daughter isn't 'missing out' you don't miss something that is normal to you. If it was your parents then you could say something.
Some grandparents are just more interested than others. My parents would not be traveling 22 hours to see my son every 10 weeks. We would see them maybe twice a year under those circumstances. You don't say what there financial position is or how far they travel to see there other grandkids.
Until recently they have been on a good income so yes I understand having to pay now but previously I should not have to (bribe) pay for them to travel to see her
All grandkids live in the same town
But they only come over if someone pays for them my biggest problem is why am I paying when the couldn't even find the time in there lives to come to her birthday/ christmas or even send a card hubby knows it's wrong but he doesn't like confrontation so he won't say anything
I know exactly how you feel.
I wouldnt say anything..if hubby wants to than that's good. But it wont change anything.
I wouldnt be paying for their travel...use that money for your own little family holidays.
Focus on the fact that she has another set of grandparents who take the time (and fund their own travel) who want to spend as much precious time with your little one.
If it makes you feel any better, my daughter is 6th grandchild on my partners side of the family.
To make a long story short, partner has 3 children to his ex and 1 child with me. His brother has 2 children (6 grandchildren)
I live in the same town as my partners mother and while the other grandchildren are 9.5 hours away, she still makes the effort to ring or Skype all 5 of them every week however will refuse to acknowledge my daughter or me. She has seen my daughter twice in 18 months and we live in the same town and she knows where I live.
Sometimes there is nothing you can do.
My partner refuses to take my daughter over to his mums house, it's not a suitable environment, they drink a carton a day, chain smoke, she isn't allowed to make noise etc.
my daughter knows who nanny is and I've never stopped the grandmother from seeing her.
You can't force people to care - my parents still haven't met my 5 year old daughter :-(