A little background: I've known my friend for more than 2 years, we are best friends, she had some trouble recently, that lasted months, I helped out with everything from watching her dog to mower people and even transport.
I was in a bind and asked for help, barely anything, dropping my ready children to school and pick up for a few days as my normal babysitter had gone away for a family thing, and on one occasion to take one child to an extracurricular activity.
Now for my question:
Is it unreasonable to expect that this friend follow through with the activity she had agreed to (ps she doesn't work yet, and we have another friend who can help when she has other commitments)?
I was left extremely angry, and hurt, and disappointed when I got a phone call saying she just hadn't taken my child to his sport training. If she couldn't take him, I could have at least rang and let them know he wasn't coming, but I only found out after training (I work otherwise I would take him)
It just feels like I am the only person I can depend on anymore, I do all these things for others but when I need a tiny bit of help (in comparison) it doesn't happen.
Am I overreacting?
I didn't let her know just how much her decision hurt me as I felt I was overreacting. I have also endured a lot lately, added stress at work, a parent hospitalised, transport problems etc, maybe it was just the straw that broke the camels back?
3 Replies
Hmmm..... I would say you may be oberreacting, or.you might.not. if she willingly did the school drop off/pick up for you but just didn't take him to training. As long as the child was safe, not left stranded anywhere by her or anything then I'd say it.probably wouldn't bother me all that much and perhaps yes, it's just the straw that broke the camels back.
If it was the ONE thing she agreed to help out with OR if you son was left stranded/inadequately supervised as a result of her actions then I'd say, I'd be pissed off and she'd know.about it!
Honestly it depends on her reasoning for not taking him. Personally as a friend I would have taken him if I said I would unless I was in hospital! So I would be annoyed if a friend said she could and then didn't for a flaky reason. But then I'm the sort of person who wouldn't have asked unless it was a one off or my friend was taking her own kid.
I make a point of never putting myself in a position of relying on someone when it comes to the care of my child , not friends , not family . I PAY people who's business it is to take care of my child , and I have never been let down ! The other thing I rarely do is take care of or help out my friends with their children , unless I WANT to , and if they do I ask I usually say no ! I'm a shift worker , our family runs like a well oiled machine , I can't afford to not have reliable care ! Putting that responsibility on friends is unfair !