Back story: my mum sucks at cooking, especially anything with meat, it all tastes bland, chewy and just plain gross. As such I have endeavoured to challenge myself by making food that everyone who might have occasion to eat my food, loves it. It is fun to always try new recipes.
My problem is my partner, I take such pride in my cooking skills, that it actually hurts my feelings when he refuses to even try my cooking, I'm actually quite good at cooking, especially baking. He recognises my skills, but even when I make his favourite foods, he refuses to eat my food, because "he's not hungry" or as is the case tonight, I spent 4 hours making a proper roast dinner, only to be told as I was serving it up that " he doesn't eat lamb" he was with me when I bought it, when I mentioned making a proper dinner that we could all sit down together for (he is a shift worker and happened to not be working this day) and he was in the kitchen when I started making it, and not one mention of not eating lamb. It is quite frankly the yummiest roast I've ever tasted (including going out for dinner) and he won't even try it.
My question is, am I being overly sensitive? I have been known to overreact occasionally. I figured I'd bring this up here before I mentioned it to him, just in case I am being silly.
Thank you
7 Replies
No, he is being an arse! You eat what your served even if it tastes disgusting and say thank you very much. That's what you do when your in a family. Who doesn't like lamb? Have it out with him, find out what's going on.
Maybe your food isn't as good as you think it is lol sorry all jokes aside I would sit him down and ask him what his problem is? If there's no problem tell him it really upsets you that you've slaved in the kitchen for him to not even sit down an seat a meal with you.
Yep he is being an arse! You eat what youre made and always say thank you its yum. However, i have to wonder if hes got a bit of pressure on him to make more of a song & dance for your top skills& time spent slaving etc etc. it does seem a big production with a very high importance to you. he could be just tired of it every meal & just rather avoid it.
Definitely not being over sensitive!
In that example he had plenty of opportunity to mention that he wouldn't eat it! Also, I completely understand being offended by the refusal!
My partner is one fussy person to feed and when we first started dating he basically ate nothing but processed food. I, on the other hand, love to cook and bake and eat fresh produce.
A year and a bit in, he still won't eat tomatoes but he'll eat avocado, mushrooms, salad, and even fresh fish such as tuna and snapper, all things he very adamantly said he would never eat at the start. All because I pointed out that he was being ridiculous and needed to retry things, especially if they had been cooked differently!
I would certainly be upset if he just refused to eat any of my cooking!!
I'm the poster, I've seen a few on Facebook saying I'm ungrateful for saying my mum can't cook, my statement there was solely for the purpose of demonstrating my motivation to be a better cook. I hated my mums food, but I still ate it without complaint. I even took over cooking occasionally when I was older, to learn to cook. I just happen to have better resources available to make more nutritious and healthy food with out losing the taste. My partner however has been brought up eating fatty, creamy, no veggie meals his whole life... I'm lactose intolerant, fatty foods make me physically sick and if I don't eat veggies at least every second night I feel sick. I've tried making his recipes from his mum, adjusted for mine and my children's needs, but if it's not that exact recipe he won't eat it. I really don't career he eats with us everyday or even eats my food all the time, I was upset he wouldn't eat THAT meal. He makes his own dinner most days.
My only point in this question was if I was overreacting over him not eating (and not telling me beforehand about not eating) my lamb dinner I made so we could have a family dinner for a change. No nastiness to my mum, no controlling behaviour from my partner, no bad cooking skills on my part (I regularly have friends and their kids over for play dates and my food is requested...) and my partner has said on multiple occasions that my food smells and looks good, and that I've done well, he just won't eat it most of the time.
I genuinely enjoy cooking/baking, it's my hobby. I mostly do it for myself and my children. My partner is a big boy he can make his own if he doesn't like it. I just wanted to know if I was getting upset over nothing as I have a habit of misunderstanding stuff like this.
Now I'm quite upset about some of these responses, so I'm sorry if this makes little sense.
Nasty people should not post, they should keep scrolling or better yet, leave the site.
Some of those comments were so over the top. Honestly I think he may have had a man moment (you know how they assume we can read their minds just like we assume they can read ours) and assumed that you wouldn't have been cooking for him/giving him any (let's face it sometimes they don't fully listen to us either lol). You don't sound like you don't have a brain between your ears and realise his taste is different to yours, but it does sound like you would have just liked a nice family meal you all could have enjoyed and you would have changed it if you knew? Now I'm just assuming lol. I can understand the hurt and frustration, but don't let it get to you, next time just be more clear so you are both on the same page.
Honestly, I think this is more about you feeling under appreciated than it is about your food, or his reaction to it. Unfortunately, he may not like your cooking, just as you do not like your mothers. Personally, everyone loves my hubby's cooking - except me. I can't eat his steak when he does all kinds of seasoning and flavouring to it... I just want a plain steak! Also keeping in mind he IS a shift worker. I'm not sure whether you have ever done shift work, but it really screws with your system - I would 'graze' all the time as I couldn't face a full heavy meal.
Take a deep breath, talk to your partner about how you feel - he probably has no idea (men kind of need to be hit over the head with these things). BUT, when you do, be aware that the answers may not be ones that you want to hear.