This is my last straw, it's a Saturday night and I am home with our infant while my partner is out yet again. Since the birth of our son 4 months ago it seems his life hasn't changed except gotten way more social while mine has gone down the gurgler along with my income as we still have separate incomes and I get below $80 a fortnight from Centrelink and my maternity leave pay (I am returning to work in a few weeks after Mat Leave $500 a fortnight worse off with my income and my outgoings like half mortgage and food bills remain the same).
He is in his late 30's takes his boat out all the time, has his sport, work socials, goes clubbing and now he got flown down for a close family event I was not invited to nor consulted about until 48 hours before he was due to fly out. He just comes home with no notice "I'm going to such and such now" or I have to dig for details even though I'm taking him to the airport or venue! I wouldn't mind as much if he said he would like to go do things not just presume he has no need to discuss it with me, he even said it was cute to a friend that he had to ask permission to go on a fishing trip from his wife. Is it just me feeling like I have no life (I am studying full time also so I know I'm going to be peachy in a year woooo!!) and allowing him to live like a bachelor and not a father (and has the money to do so and I am freaking out as I can't afford to get new underwear) or should I be pissed off?
7 Replies
You should absolutely be pissed off, 100%. He is not a husband he is a Room Mate, with benefits. I assume before the baby came along you both discussed what changes you expected eg you pool the money and you both take a a fair share of spending money. And that hubby is to pull is weight as far as spending time with his family.
I'd be absolutely expressing your feelings to hubby ASAP. He needs to reign it in, otherwise you might as well be a single mother.
Ok you love this man so I will try not to be bag him out to much, but what he is doing is not ok!!! In fact this whole thing stinks!!!
You have a four month old and he is out without you all the time. You have a mortgage a four month old and separate money? What the?????? He has got his cake and eating it to girlfriend ,and you are just there for the ride! You do what you need to do and he needs a massive reality call.... The party is over and being a dad/family man means this shit needs to calm down and he needs to involve his family in where he is going!!
My husband falls under 'he's cute' category and discusses with me before making plans, as do I with him. I could not be with a man like that, he sounds selfish. When u start a family, buy a house and enter a committed relationship, everything should be equal. Unfortunately depending on his attitude I can't see him changing. Purely just by the comment of his friend asking for permission to go out and it's cute! It's not cute it's called respect! Money should be pooled together or he should at least be contributing more while your income has been cut. Definitely sounds more like room mates then a partnership. Time for a big chat. Good luck.
Pack your bags and stay at your parents for a weekend without notice. YOu need to scare him that he'll lose you both. Sounds like at the moment, he has no fear of losing you and thinks you'll put up with his behaviour.
Love, that's doesn't sound like a relationship at all. The fact he doesn't contribute financially and you two have a child together screams selfish to me.
What exactly are the positives in this situation...?
If you can't think of at least a few. It's time to move on.
Your with a dickhead. Tell him to man/father up or get out.
Wow I can't imagine ever livinG With a partner and running around still being cashed up and social while they're struggling, let alone the fact you've got a new baby. That changes everything!! it's a real shame that he would even do that to yo. Let alone that you're accepting it and being miserable. Time to change things to find your respect kindness support and happiness.