Hi I just want opinions on a situation that I've been faced with recently.
About a year ago I left my ex over DV issues and went to court for an AVO where the conditions are no contact. The only contact that is allowed is if I am the instigator and if it is in a civil manner or specifically to do with our 3 children.
Last year a few months after our seperation, he breached the AVO with abusive texts which I reported to the police as it intimidated me greatly. Court proceedings for the breach went ahead after the AVO was finialised and he didn't turn up to any of the hearings and was issued with a warrant where I know for a fact that he wasn't getting mail for.
I have a feeling that he was getting up to no good as he doesn't have the best influences around him (friends & family are all ice fiends). Anyway, he must have done something or might have been sighted and was picked up on the warrant before Christmas last year and is now in jail. He was sentenced to 4 yrs with a 3 yr non-parole period.
When we were together he was good at keeping himself out of trouble and I made it clear that if he was ever stupid enough to land himself in jail then don't expect me to visit him with our kids ( I don't believe it's a place for kids) since losing the kids and I, he's kinda gone down hill. He gave a friend of his the login details to his facebook to contact me to ask if I could please send him photos of his kids and I told them not to contact me ever again and my kids photos will not be sent to a jail so that creeps can stare at them. Since then I've been feeling a little guilty.
Some factors that I should add is that I was always the one to look after the kids while he was always worried about catching up on lost youth even though he was the one who asked me to have kids. He rarely spent any money on the kids and when he did it was only after my bitching to him. He'd always sleep in till 2pm which put a lot of strain on our relationship especially during my last pregnancy. My friends and family dislike him so much and I take their advice but then I think of my kids and I feel like I'm disrespecting them by being so harsh on their dad. Ugh! So confused. Heeeelllp!!
5 Replies
No you shouldn't send photos. And you should report that the 'friend' contacted you through his Facebook account to police. This man just does not get it AT ALL.
No way should you send photos. Absolutely no way
No. And he has once again breached the avo by having someone contact you. Move away and dont tell him where you are going!
Guilt doesn't always mean you feel like you're making the wrong decision, you're probably just empathizing with him because you couldn't imagine not seeing you're children but as far as i can tell he didn't make much effort when he was out of jail so if you feel it's not best to send photo's that's probably the right decision.
Thank you. I think you've hit the nail right on the head with that one. :)