Hello Ladies, I have a question about aggressive behavior. A little bit of history. I was in a DV relationship for the first 3 years of my sons life. My daughter was not yet 2 when I grabbed my babies and fled. Since then I have been very child orientated. My son has speech and learning challenges. He sees a speechie one a F/N. Both children have been seeing a Psychiatrist for the past 16 months once per F/N. I am trying very hard with the school and very hard with both children.
My problem is, my Son punches and yells at my daughter. He yells and talks back to me. I have seen things that my ex husband used to do to me ie raise fits in air as if he is going to punch her in the face when he is growling at her. I was then told by one of his teachers that she has grand children. No DV back ground, similar age gap and the older one hurts the younger one.
I have tried reward charts, taking things away, time outs etc..
I am lost, please, please, please do you have any thing that I have not thought of on this issue?!?!
At my whits en,
Frustrated Mumma!!
4 Replies
******Son is 6 years old. Daughter is 5 years old.
I think in general little boys can get angry and aggressive more than girls. I have found with my son that anger is the easiest emotion for him to feel. Feeling sad or let down is harder for them to express. I'm assuming he doesn't see his father and that could be bothering him even if he says it doesn't. Try and have a chat with your son and find out if anything is bothering him. Try and read his behavior before it escalates and give him something to do with you or something he can do by himself. Maybe then you can have a chat about stuff and he might talk to you but don't make it too serious or question too much. Strong communication with your son is very important cause a lot of boys just don't like to talk about stuff and lots of love and affection. Have time every day to just sit and have a chat. Also a positive male role model around such as grandfather or uncle. When he is being aggressive or angry go with him to his bedroom and just sit there with him, until he calms down. I got some ideas off a website called Aha Parenting. I don't agree with everything on there but I found some sections very helpful. I still do time outs with my younger kids but with any aggressive or angry behaviour I go down to there room with them and just sit with them until they calm down this has worked with my son he ends up crying and then he has a hug and a chat. If you go on that website they explain why sometimes time out doesn't help. You are a great mum and you are doing everything you possibly can for your son. x
Boys are more physical in general. And they do hit. I have on going issues with my son being to physical. But my brother was the same as a kid, boys are boys! Don't blame yourself or your past. Just deal with it now. I find remvi g to time out when ever he has hurt some one works, also just say gentle, maybe even show what you mean. Work through this like any other stage. You both will be fine.
Boys are more physical in general. And they do hit. I have on going issues with my son being to physical. But my brother was the same as a kid, boys are boys! Don't blame yourself or your past. Just deal with it now. I find remvi g to time out when ever he has hurt some one works, also just say gentle, maybe even show what you mean. Work through this like any other stage. You both will be fine.