Has any mummys had an abortion after you had previously finished your family? We have found ourselves in a position of a surprise and unexpected pregnancy. We have already felt like we had completed our family, and are seriously considering abortion. Im so torn about it, some days i am deadset for terminating the pregnancy, but for fleeting moments i imagine life with this new baby. Can i ask if you regretted doing it?
28 Replies
Call a clinic. You have to talk to someone before deciding to do it anyway so they might be able to give you some clarity. Good luck, not an easy choice to have to make.
I'm booked into a clinic for next week, i just don't want to regret doing it, we financially aren't in the best position to be bringing a new bub into the world right now, however that mum instinct that yearns for a babby is there.
I had a similar situation and we still managed to survive with our surprise baby, he's now 10 and an amazing child. Nothing is random, we are all perfectly made and it breaks my heart to think of a child being taken. No judgement but please look into both sides of abortion, it's not how the clinics make out. It's a little baby
I was in this situation a few yrs ago, I made it to the appointment. Talked to the dr, made the appointment to have a termination. But after talking to the dr- I really started to think about it and what the reasons I wanted to terminate. ( we were happy with our 2 kids, our life was just getting on track, financial) To me my reasons where not enough. We decided to continue the pregnancy and I now have a beautiful 2 yr old. I won't lie it has not been easy . But I really enjoyed this baby the most , she has brought us so much joy, I really feel Like she was a blessing. I would not have it any other way. I figured I had more change of regretting not having the baby. Good luck make sure it is a joint decision.
I was going to say. Definitely speak with a professional to help you come to your decision. And maybe even afterwards if you need too
I have ,after we had our second child. It's a major decision so make sure you talk it through together. I don't regret having an abortion. But it's not an easy decision or the best for everyone. I hope you find the peace in your decision. Best of luck to you.
this happened to me last year, i dont regret it.
Hi I had an abortion back in June for the same reason 3 healthy children not being able to financially afford another child and we don't regret it at all. We knew after baby 3 we were done take the time think about it but I just knew as soon as I found out good luck with your decision
Hi, i have 6 kids and thought i wouldn't have anymore after the 4th one, i had a 5 year gap the number 5 came along that was ok, then i found out i was pregnant with the 6th and didn't think i could cope, we looked into abortion and talked to the doctor after getting all the information i decided not to do it.
My son is now 14 and such a beautiful soul, hes funny,kind and caring i cant imagine my life without him.
Everyones different but dont do it if you think you will regret it or wonder what if.
Good luck
Get as much advice as you can prior, it was one of the most difficult decisions I have had to make but not just for me but also for my family it was the right decision to make. I had sad days afterwards but have not regretted the decision be kind to yourself and allow your self time to greive if you go ahead with it seek support but don't listen to judgement.
I had one after we completed our family of 5 at the time it was the right decision for us if we didn't we would've had 4 kids under 3 and I just didn't think I could do it again physically or mentally there were other reasons too. I had to go to 3 different doctors before I could get a referral and was made to feel like shot about it but I did it and I haven't looked back I do not dwell on it and think as I said before it was the best for us... In saying that it's not for everyone and be sure to have counselling before and afterwards to ensure you handle your emotions and hormones in the best way...
Good luck x
It's a human life, can you really live with ending it? If so at least be informed and look at what is involved in abortions. If you can't research it and see that you shouldn't do it.
Yes I have. Not something I ever thought I would do. I have been with my partner since we were young and had our first young, not planned, and didn't have an abortion then, but after 3 kids, and a big age gap between no 2 and 3 we found ourselves pregnant from a broken condom, and I went straight and got the morning after pill the next day (strangely enough this was how I fell pregnant with my first child). Our 3rd child was only 16 months at the time and my husband had not yet got around to having a vasectomy. He has since. Usually I'm an 'everything happens for a reason' kind of person, but instead I found myself looking into abortion. I couldn't sleep or eat or barely function, I was shaking all the time. I just did not want it to be happening. My doctor was very supportive, and said many abortions are actually done on women in this situation, it's not just young girls. I couldn't see how I could manage well with a 4th. I don't have much family support, I could see the demands another little one would put on me would take me further away from my older kids. I had concerns about what another pregnancy would do to my body in terms of pelvic floor, and some other medical issues. Not to mention my mental health as I was struggling to keep on top of depression and anxiety. I already felt my body was on the verge of falling apart. My little one already shared a room with her older sibling, and I knew we would have another child in with us indefinitely. I didn't think that would be great for our marriage, although my husband is a lovely and patient father, he has just given so much to our family and was worried about the demands another baby would put on him. My husband's business had just hit a bad point, and financially there were tough times ahead. As it turned out the subsequent 3 years have been a struggle and we are still not out of it and I could see that ahead at the time. These were all my personal concerns, yours will be totally different. But the point is that in this situation I CHOSE ME and it's OK to sometimes choose you, even though we romantasise the idea of babies and motherhood and the idea we need to just give love and everything will be fine. I looked at what the realities of every day life would be like if I went ahead. I had been a mother and given my all to my family my whole adult life. I knew if I had the baby I would do everything to be the best Mum to it, but quite possibly at the expense of my personal wellbeing. It wasn't just because I had decided I was done, and then found myself pregnant, because for many years after our 2nd I said I was done, but had I found myself pregnant then I would have had the baby. There was much more to it than that. Good luck. Whatever you choose. I do feel a bit sad, I wonder what could have been, but I don't regret it.
We have 2 children and that's all we wanted. We had a surprise and after lots of thought we decided to terminate. Over 18 months down the track and we honestly don't have any regrets. We couldn't give our children all that we have if we added another child to our family. Plus I would have had to quit work which I didn't want to do. In the last 18 months I have got a promotion and we have gotten married and gone on a holiday overseas which wouldn't have happened with another child.
Take lots of time to think it through but do what is best for your family and yourself
Did you tell your surviving children that you murdered their sibling so they could have more stuff? Because that's what you did. Selfish twat.
Yes i have and no i do not regret
Because you do not have a soul.
I have one child and had a termination a few moths ago. We couldn't afford another child, simple as that, also I'm not ready for another baby.
Sometimes I think about it, but also sometimes I wonder about jobs I should have taken or boys I shouldn't have ended things with, adventures I should have had and didnt. It was the right choice for me at the time and I'd do it again if I had it to do over.
You should have just killed your older child. That way you could have had some time to relax before your new child arrived. Think about all that time for you! And don't forget the money you would be saving too. God help us with sick narcissistic fucks like you in the world.
If you don't feel able to keep the baby please consider making someone else's family complete through adoption! Abortion is still killing a baby no matter how it's worded so NOT a decision to make lightly. I've had an abortion and wouldn't EVER do that again.
I couldn't do it. I've been with my husband for 12 years and if we had sex and a condom broke, I wasn't on birth control, or whatever I couldn't have an aportion. If you are having sex, you could get pregnant! It's not the babies fault so I just couldn't do it!
I have 6 beautiful kids and 2 years ago I had an abortion I was not in the best position but I regret doing it every day now, and I hate myself for it too.
Good, you should feel guilty for murdering your child! Because that's exactly what you did! You should be in prison, but there is no justice for the unborn human.
Who are you? Why post anonymous you coward trying to make all these women feel like crap.
Abortion affects people differently. Some feel guilt about it; others, like myself, do not regret such decisions. It is a personal decision that is totally your choice. You don't even have to involve your significant other in the process if you don't want to. Like raising a child or adoption, this is just another choice.
I am personally biased against the whole adoption idea due to how many children are kept in the system and end up aging out never knowing a loving family. This is something many of those who tout adoption and shun abortion simply do not take into account.
You'll never really know how it affects you until after you've been through the procedure. Though, I do advise that you get yourself mentally straight with it, otherwise there is a chance you will subconsciously talk yourself into regretting it. Only make a choice if you have accepted it, though I also caution about waiting around until you lack the possibility of making said choice and regretting having waited.
Just remember--whatever people tell you, don't fall for the "you're killing a baby" hype. Know that in nature, even animals have and utilize the ability to abort young under certain circumstances. This is, in truth, no different.
You are one cold twisted mutha fucka. Seriously? The father has no right to know you're going to murder his child? Fuck you , you soulless bitch! You murdered your child, accept it. You're trying so hard to justify your "choice", but what choice did your poor defensless child have ?
Why not just kill off one of the older kids?they use up more resources anyhow!
Did you have your baby?
I have four beautiful children and we struggle financially, but I wouldn't trade any of them for all the money in the world. It breaks my heart to hear someone saying they got an abortion because they wanted to be able to do more with their other kids. God doesn't make mistakes, He just doesn't. Praying for you right now either way, but I'm just curious if you kept him or her.