So I have a teenage daughter to a previous relationship, I have another child(5yrs)to my current partner. I grew up with nothing, like literally lived in a humpy with a Dropbox as a toilet! My daughter has a job, so now she has a job, everything I make she doesn’t like, I’ve given up making dinners for her, but yet complains we don’t have any food, I shop every Sunday $350-$400 a week! She constantly annoys her younger brother and then when he annoys her she gets so angry and slams the door in his face( then I get angry) then she’ll say why do you always blame me for everything. She does week on week off with her dad, but yet if something happens at my house she will ring her dad to come get her take her back to his house, or take her to school( her school is literally 500m walk) I’m at wit ends with her. I feel like I’m done with her( so sad) and want her to go live with her dad full-time! Are kids so entitled these days? They don’t help around the house but expect so much in return or am I just using my upbringing to see how entitled she is?
3 Replies
My personal experience with my kids, with separated parents is, they will exploit their parents. And use them against one another. At that age, they will want to be in the home with less rules, and can get away with more. Right now, she is using her father, for her own selfishness.
Sit down with dad. Let him know everything that's happening at home. Let him know how you feel, how it's affecting the house hold.
Then sit daughter down, ask her what she wants. Let her know she can't pit you and her father against each other. And that if she goes to stay with dad, then it won't be any different.
Sadly in my case, my x is an addict, when the kids turned 14 they slowly vanished into a world of drugs because his house was more fun. I dont see my kids any more. all 3 went from school Capitans, sports Capitan, sports reps, good grades, to people out, addictions and lives of crime... just like daddy
You must feel incredibly guilty for not being able to stop them from going down that path. I personally would have called the cops on the house, kids get a wakeup call and maybe dad goes to prison. If you have an incredibly strong bond with your kids and they are genuinely happy at home, they don't want to go to the house with no rules, in my experience anyway.
this is the time you parent harder and better, she needs it. if you weren't divorced, you couldn't ship her off, so why is it an option now? unless anyone is in danger in the household, no, you don't throw your arms in the air and say this is too hard, go live there. parenting is hard work, maybe do some free courses, get some advice from a psychologist, read up on strategies, but make no mistake, this is the most important job you will have, be the best you can at it.