For context I suffer from depression, anxiety PTSD, diagnosed in 2023 with (and medicated) ADHD and ASD.
I work only 12 hours a week.
I have an 8yr old daughter.
I am currently studying (like 10 hours a week)
For years I’ve struggled with my house. It is cluttered (not super bad but it bugs me a lot) I regularly go through and declutter and clean but things always end up how they were before. I’ve got what I’ve found out are doom piles, just random piles of junk with no home.
I cannot for the life of me put clean washing away, I’m great at washing the clothes but not putting them away. I can do a big put away and the next week the clean washing has piled up again.
My 8yr old puts her washing away (eventually lol)
My husband is fantastic when he’s home (he works away every 2nd week) I’m also not worried if he does too much as he had emergency spinal surgery 12 months ago so I want him to rest and recover on his days off.
My question is how do I get rid of my clutter and get on top of my washing pile? I find when my house is cluttered and messy I’m very overwhelmed in all areas of my life.
I am bad at time management and never know where to start in my house.
Is there any books I can read or apps I can use or any advice anyone can give me so I can look after my house better.
I have so much trouble figuring out where I need to utilize my time.
I am so forgetful as well, I have so many lists for things and screenshots of things I want to do/cook/buy but I never remember them.
I am on ADHD medication which has helped with my energy levels.
I am bad at remembering to take any of my vitamins that I need to take.
I also have a terrible sleep pattern, I scroll my phone or play a game until late at night (midnight ish) and then drag my feet through the next day.
Sorry if this was jumbled but that’s my brain 🤪 lol
Help!
One overwhelmed AuDHD mumma
1 Replies
This sounds like me. Some people are just great at being organised. I'm the fly by the seat of my pants kinda mum who looks scattered most days. I am easily distracted too. I stress out so much about cleaning. For example, if I start cleaning the bathroom, rather than just cleaning it, I may hyperfocus on something e.g. some groove with dirt in it so will start scrubbing it with a toothbrush. By the time I've finished finding a dozen new mini jobs in a room.. the rest gets neglected and I feel completely overwhelmed. So sometimes I find avoidance easier which does not help me have a clean house.
To counteract some of my problems. Before I go in a room to clean, I plan out what I am going to do and promise myself if I have time I will come back for the mini jobs I notice while in there. Do the minimum you promised yourself you would do and move on. It may soumd weird but sometimes I squint my eyes and tell myself to only focus on the big things I see in a room and that's what I will clean. I think it's how normal people must see the world lol.
The screen time is an avoidance behaviour. I am trying to distract myself from even thinking about it. So to counteract this one I make deals with myself. So I am allowed to watch 10 minutes and then I do one task e.g. hang out the washing and then I can go back and repeat. It chunks up the tasks, they feel less overwhelming and before I know it, my daily jobs are done. Sometimes I will put on a show and fold clothes as well.
As for sleeping.. I listen to guided meditation to try to shut my brain up and it also stops me from scrolling on my phone.
My house is never clean as I have teens who drive me batty but I am coping. Hopefully, something I've written helps ;)