I have a 17yo Son. Both my hubby and I work and son does too. We have tried to help him save some money and be responsible with it but he is very strong willed and is making his own choices. Recently we have had discussions about contributing to the house and he agreed to give us $20/wk for his share. I have no need of his money and was putting it away in a moneybox to give back to him at a later date. Unknown to him. Today I went to look at the money box and found that there was $80 missing from it. I asked my husband and he said he didn't take it. He ask 17yo, who at first lied about it but then relented and stated that it is his money and he doesn't have to give it back. Right now I am feeling like I'm failing as a parent. I just don't know what to do. FYI there are no other people in the house. Needing help.
My 17yo Son Stealing money.
My 17yo Son Stealing money.
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Teenagers, Tips and Advice
3 Replies
Is his income low since you've only asked for $20 a week and he is feeling the need to take it back? I personally think at this age its less about saving and more about budgeting and being responsible for more things financially. Like their own personal items, their own phone plan etc. Forcing them to save does nothing, it's budgeting that is the necessary skill in life. Then when they are earning a better income and are mature enough they also have the tools in place to save. I never asked my kids for board until they were 18, the focus was always on budgeting for what they need to pay. I know this doesn't really help with him stealing but he's looking at it as his money, so a different approach may help and a discussion about when he's an adult and has the ability to earn more you will be expecting him to pay board.
What does he earn? Why force him to save if he has a small income? This is what annoys me these days, all the advice about saving for families, the fact is, if you don't earn enough, there's no magical way to save. Is this his first job? Part time? Let him enjoy his money, he earned it, soon enough he'll be out in the big bad world, struggling like the rest of us.
Also, you don't have a "stealing" problem here, you child is not a thief, you have a mum/son disagreement about how you are parenting. I feel like as he earns the money, you need to come to an agreement you are both happy with, he is nearly an adult, start treating him as such.