Hey mumma's I'm stuck on getting advice from anywhere about a current situation I'm currently in and I don't want to go to my mother about it, don't want her worrying, I'm 29 with a 6 year old son and in a fairly new relationship of 7 months with a 25 year old.
Things have been going well, my son likes him and they both get along but when my boy misbehaves, gets out of bed while we shower at night or disrespects me then he'll get so upset and mad about it that he'll say mean things to me like "Honestly , im a little sick of looking after another guys kid, why tf do we need to spend money on him he has a father that should b buying him everything thats how it worked in my household. Just cause ur separated he gets double of everything its fucked" and " Cant go on a holiday when we want bc u had a kid with a diff dude its fucked"
Im just so stuck with what to do. He's a bit of an alcoholic due to his mum passing 3 years ago but I'm trying to get him to slow down cuz it gets pricey. Of course, He won't seek out help. He also called my son a C**t to my face . He's 6. Is this wrong, am I in the right to be mad and upset over this? I know I need to learn to discipline him more , I'm too soft on him and I have no idea how his father is parenting him we don't talk ever.
Thank you ladies ☺️
9 Replies
Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee leave this abusive prick lovely lady, if it's this bad after only 7 months, it will get a hell of a lot worse.
When a step parent resents a child, the child can feel it and as they grow older, it deeply affects them.
They take that trauma into adulthood and when they're an adult and can see things more clearly, they'll wonder why you allowed it and brought such a person into their life.
And please stay single for a LONG while because your choices at this point are endangering your child.
You need to become so strong, assertive and independent that you would not even consider entertaining such a prick.
Go build yourself up, for yourself and most importantly, your child.
Also, I really hope you aren't living together already.
If you are, don't ever do that again, way too quick.
You need to take time to really get to know someone before you bring them into your child's safe place.
He also shouldn't be considered or assume the role of step parent after such a short amount of time, he should still be just the guy you are seeing/dating.
I'm a stepparent and I say this in the kindest possible way but you need to leave. Neither you nor your CHILD is safe. There is NO way this is acceptable. This will escalate quickly and you need to put your child first.
I agree with the other posters. This is abuse, and your child will bear the scars, and end up resenting you for not keeping him safe.
ANY person in your life who calls your child names, or makes horrible comments about your child being a burden should be cut immediately. If you won't leave for yourself, do it for your son.
I guarantee your son will leave to live his father if you don't & you could lose him. One of DS's friends (12) had the same situation with a step dad & moved in with their grandmother as the abuse escalated. Their two siblings have moved now, too. None have anything to do with their mother.
I'm a stepmum and my 4 stepkids haven't seen their mum in years. We have always had a great relationship with her until her current partner came onto the scene. He targeted the youngest children immediately. It started off with verbal and then progressed from then on. The kids are young adults now and came to live with us full time as soon as the abuse came to light. Mum is still with the guy 🤷♀️
I'm.glad you're step kids had a safe place to come to. DS's friend did as well & the difference in their happiness was incredible.
I’m going to be blunt with you - this douche called your son a cunt to your face, constantly makes disparaging comments about you having a child from a previous relationship and how inconvenient or to use his words “fucked” that is. Oh, and he just has a casual drinking problem as well…
He might as well have “piece of shit” written across his forehead.
But what really concerns me is that you’re questioning whether or not you have the right to be mad and upset about this, because I’m sitting here wondering why you aren’t angrier?!
Right now - you need to start planning your safe escape from this relationship. Lean on your mum for support, I guarantee she’s already worried about you!
Call 1800RESPECT for some advice as well. In the meantime, discreetly store a little bag of essentials in your car in case you need to leave in a hurry.
Long term - Seek some professional support so you can rebuild your self esteem and self worth. This will also help you parent your son with more confidence and it will help you hold some boundaries with shitty men.
He resents your child, that is only going to get worse as time goes on.