Tired of being in my own

I’m 47 and have been single 4 years after leaving a 20 year marriage. Apart from a 6-month relationship 3 years ago where he was sleeping with other women, I’ve been on my own. I’m sick of it and miss being part of a loving relationship.

I’ve tried online dating but it’s awful. I met a really nice guy a year ago, we hung out a few times and the vibe was great but he went cold and said he’d met someone else. Fair enough, at least he was honest. Just before Christmas, I tried online dating again and met another guy who was 10 years older, but he too was busy with multiple partners so I let that one go.

During my marriage, I did so many things on my own, my ex-husband wasn’t really interested in spending time together.
I consider myself attractive, I’m active and still play sport, I have a great job and I’m well liked, but behind closed doors I’m lonely and tired of the constant disappointment. I know I should be enjoying single life but it’s hard just not having someone else to talk to or enjoy doing things with. I really liked the guys I dated, but I feel like I’m being left behind and I’m the “almost” girlfriend but never quite enough. I don’t have any drama in my life, I’m amicable with my ex, financially independent, our kids are teens/adults so I’ve got plenty of time and love to give. I really thought I would have met someone by now. I went to a great farmers market on the weekend by myself and while wandering through, I burst into tears. I just don’t know why men always want other options, what am I doing wrong?