I have grounded my daughter for 2 weeks, however she has her first netball match during that time. i have said she cant play as she is grounded and that is the consequence. Other people have said she is letting the team down. Do i let her play?
I have grounded my daughter for 2 weeks, however she has her first netball match during that time. i have said she cant play as she is grounded and that is the consequence. Other people have said she is letting the team down. Do i let her play?
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3 Replies
I don’t think removing positive outlets (such as sport/physical activity) is really a healthy consequence UNLESS that punishment fits the crime.
As a hypothetical example - say your daughter was bullying someone on her team then hell yeah I’d agree with making her sit out for the week while thinking about what type of team mate and person she wants to be.
If it’s more of an arbitrary 2 week grounding for not completing chores or not following some type of rule etc, I think taking netball away as a punishment misses the mark and it’s probably not going to encourage the behaviour change you’re wanting to see.
They're absolutely correct. If she signed up to a team she made a commitment and that is an obligation that she needs to keep. If she's grounded, ban her from rewards (i.e play dates, tech time etc) not obligations that teach her maturity
Sometimes letting people down is a far more valuable lesson than the loss of privileges or freedom.
Being part of a team is about more than just showing up, it’s also about considering how the actions and choices you make can affect your ability to keep your commitment and how your actions and choices can potentially affect your team mates.
If she was given an after school detention that prevented her from attending a game for example, would you expect the school to say “Oh you’re on a netball team! We’ll give you a pass so you don’t let down your team” - I doubt it, because that sounds a bit ridiculous right?
I also think backtracking on a consequence you’ve already decided on sets a bit of a precedent, unless of course you don’t feel like that initial consequence was fair. Then by all means make some amendments.
Ultimately, the decision is yours and you know your child best.