So I had a work meeting today and was home late. I called my husband on the way home to say I would be late.
When I got home I had dinner. Then went to the toilet where I changed my underwear. I have a weak pelvic floor since having my 3rd baby.
He noticed I had changed my underwear and then said "why did you change your underwear that's just sus". First you're at a "work meeting" and now you're changing your underwear"
I said because I have a weak pelvic floor and had leakage.
I said are you f-ing serious you know I have a weak pelvic floor. Are you saying I'm cheating?
He replies I'm not accusing you of anything it's just sus.
I am actually fuming right now and don't know what I'm doing in this relationship sometimes.
Am I overreacting?
6 Replies
cheaters always accuse you of cheating
People like that always hide behind these accusations.
Usually means they’re deflecting as they’re the ones cheating
Could mean that he had a moment of insecurity. Why would you be angry instead of just helping his logical thoughts catch up with his intrusive thoughts? I mean, it's possible he's deflecting but it's not my first thought.
If he is accusing he is guilty.
I have anxiety and rarely I get intrusive thoughts that are 100% not based on my husband or our relationship and are instead a reflection of my insecurity and psychological stability. My husband makes me feel secure when I'm not okay, he doesn't get angry at me.
I can completely understand why he would have had those thoughts given your actions if he was having a rough time already, despite your innocence. I hope that the day after you posted you both spoke with each other from a place of love if this was an intrusive thought rather than deflection. Thinking he was cheating himself was absolutely not my first thought.
FYI, there is a big difference from a rare moment of insecurity and ongoing issues with validation so I'm not talking about ongoing issues, just occasional moments because people are human and not robots.