I wrote in a few days ago about my husband cheating on me with the masseur's giving him happy endings. I know they say that him cheating says more about him than me, but why did he do it? We had a good s*x life. I did everything he always wanted. I’m a little bit thick but I’m pretty enough I thought. I feel so so degraded, that he had to go pay prostitutes for sex! He paid for it with Chinese randoms! I feel so so degraded, down, unattractive, horrible, gross. I actually feel like I want to die. I literally can’t stop crying! I will never be good enough for anyone.
Why did he cheat on me?
Why did he cheat on me?
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage, Self Care, Health & Wellbeing
7 Replies
This is who he is lovely.
This has NOTHING to do with you.
This man could be with Angelina Jolie and he would still do it.
He didn't accidentally fall in love with a co-worker, he seeks out sex workers and pays them to pleasure him.
He gets off on the power, seeing immigrants degrade themselves for money.
He gets off on it being a secret and him getting away with it.
This gives him a sick thrill.
Remember Jay Z cheated on BEYONCE, look at all the other glamorous stars it has happened to, it has nothing to do with your appearance, or your sex life, no-one is immune, it is a character flaw in THEM.
Don't you dare take his shame, it doesn't belong to you, it belongs to him.
I just read this: "If you want a man to leave just be loving and loyal, they hate that". How true is that? Some men are dumb.
This was me 4 years ago.
All of those feelings were mine.
The crying, the anxiety, feeling dirty and picking it to pieces trying to work out what was wrong with me, what I could have done better, or to look better.
Fast forward, those feelings have well and truly passed.
Those feelings have been replaced with pity for him, realising there was absolutely nothing wrong with me and I should’ve never questioned myself.
Finding the most amazing man now has reassured that for me.
I know it feels raw and heavy now, but I promise you it will pass.
Stop looking at yourself and questioning what is wrong with you, start looking at him and realising what is wrong with him.
You are more than enough, big love x
My ex husband went to brothels and we broke up. He got married again and did the same to her. It wasn't my issue, it wasn't his seconds wifes issue either. Its not you, it is him! Likely a sex or porn addiction and they do it because they think with their dicks and that is pretty much it. Not sure if your husband is a narcissist or not but my ex is , so basically in the end he doesn't give AF who he hurts because its all about him. DO NOT HATE YOURSELF FOR HIS SHIT CHOICES. I went through all you did, but now i know it definitely wasn't me, so hopefully you can see that sooner rather than wasting the energy on hating yourself , use the energy hating him.
I now have the most amazing husband and relationship, so hopefully you now get the chance to find that too. Because my ex is still a piece of shit , was then, still is now. YOU WILL BE AMAZING.
Not sure why Chinese is relevant?
Just a bit of casual racism… 😬
This is the hardest part of having a partner cheat. The ‘why’. The comparing yourself, wondering if you measure up, trying to see how you don’t, what she’s got that you haven’t.
Please know this is not about any part of you. It is purely because of his lack of respect for you. Simply because he can.
All you do by asking this question, and comparing yourself to the other person, is hurt yourself more.
The patriarchy will tell you that he wandered because he wasn’t getting it at home (I actually had someone say this to my face), yet you could have been having sex 3 times a day and still, if he wanted to stray he would have. This is just another way to blame women for men’s abuse and disrespect.