Hi mummas, I'd love some advise from those who have had an unplanned pregnancy with a big age gap and what you decided on doing.
My partner and I have been together for 16 years, have two beautiful children who will be 13 and 11 when this baby comes along. We never planned on having more kids so I've been out of the baby mind set for a very long time.
While we're still both young enough (early 30s) I personally feel too old and unfit to have a baby.
We have plans to travel when the kids finish school. If we have the baby we will be starting the school journey over again by that time.
We like being able to make last minute plans and not have to think about organising babysitters, working around feeding/ sleep schedules.
It would also mean upgrading the house and car.
I don't want to sound like a horrible or selfish person but I just enjoy the stage of life we're in now. We're at the tail end of the childhood journey and about to start the teenage journey and at the moment I can't see myself going back to start it all again.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
2 Replies
You don't need anyone's permission or validation. Your body, your life, your choice.
Mine are 9 & 12 & we're about to start travelling with them & there's zero chance I'd keep another pregnancy & go through it all again. We had kids mid 30's & travelled & enjoyed life before kids. There's an amazing world out there. Do not feel guilty for wanting to explore it!
ill share my story
13yrs between my brother and I. mum struggled, dad struggled, I definitely struggled. I felt left out, I felt alone. I rebelled at 15 as soon as I got a casual job. drinking, smoking and just not listening to any adult. before him, my grades were amazing and so was my attitude. but it all got lost in the hype of a younger sibling.
I have 2 kids now of my own, 12 and 14. if I were to fall pregnant, I 100% wouldn't be having the baby, because my partner (who doesn't want kids of his own)band is want to travel with the kids at the age they are. I dont want to have to start that all over again either.
everyone will have their opinions and values and that Ls fine, but you have to do what you want. what you need.