Edit: because apparently this needed for some ridiculous reason, I love my daughter she is my heart, my everything but she is growing up and I did everything once, baby, toddler, every time I do a stage it's the last time I do it. So of course I crave a baby, my child isn't a baby that's all I meant. What a ridiculous thing to twist.
I'm 34, my partner is 39, I have an 11yo, we have tried unsuccessfully for years to have another baby, by the time we are in a position to go through the massive emotional and financial journey of IVF I'll be over 35 my partner will be over 40 and my child will be a teen. It feels like it's time I just give up and appreciate my 40s with relative freedom, free from a young child but it absolutely breaks my soul to know won't have the baby I've always wanted, it was always the plan to have another and now it feels like that won't happen, like it shouldn't happen, it's too late, at 30 when my child was 7, when we first started trying was one thing but life interfered, it didn't happen naturally, we moved across the state, I left my job and started studying, we just haven't been in a position to consider taking on IVF. Now it just feels to late, IVF can take years and lots of money and then I'll be raising a child into my 50s my partner into his 60s (that might be an exaggeration I did just realise 60 is 20 years after 40 but you get the point we will be old haha) . It just feels like it's time to call it and be happy with what we have but I don't know how to do that, I feel sad whenever I see a baby, I dream about the baby I didn't have, I don't know how to move past this.
2 Replies
My sister and a friend have both travelled the IVF journey. They both ended up having two boys a couple of years apart. Those boys are so loved, it did not matter at all that they were older so definitely do not let the age thing put you off. My SIL did not have her first until over 35. Some people are deliberately delaying having children until they are older. My cousin could not have children, so she adopted and fostered. Another two cousins have not had children but one runs a winery with her hubby and another travels all over the place with hers.
There are so many different roads your journey could take and so many different choices along the way. Maybe come back to where you are now and just make choices for today and deal with whatever or whomever enters your life. Meaning do not make permanent decisions just yet until you have more information in front of you 🥰
Have a look into the bulk billing IVF clinics. It may be cheaper and quicker to have a mini holiday and do the IVF at a bulk clinic then to pay for IVF.
Have you seen a Fertility Specialist, there are other meds and surgeries to try before IVF is even considerd