Hi
I’m just looking for some ideas…
I have an 8 year old son, and I’m a bit lost on what to do.
His genuinely a lovely little guy but he can get very disrespectful and confrontational, angry and argumentative… in fact he can be quite horrible and speak to us really awfully.. bosses us around, throws himself into pits of rage …
Things we try ..
Consistent boundaries
Sticking to no when we say no…
Have consulted medical professionals peads etc
But regardless of underlying issues / behaviour issues this isn’t ok..
We role model constantly and certainly don’t speak to one another the way he speaks to us..
But I don’t know how to stop it ..
He mocks me, mimics me , pulls faces at me and simply tells me to shut up or screams in my face..
We don’t use physical discipline- which is what would have been used when we were kids but I think he’d just laugh in my face anyway.. I’m actually really tired of it and can’t get him to stop ..
People say it’s bad parenting or parent don’t care but talking and grounding , extra chores , none of that seems to work..
So maybe I am just a bad parent and doing something wrong ? I dunno .. if you have experienced this before and corrected the behaviour what did you do..
2 Replies
There needs to be a reaction that matches his actions. He needs to see how he acts is wrong. Record him for the sole purpose of showing it back to him so he can see it for himself. Get angry when he mocks you or is mean to you, this is a natural reaction of anyone else and he needs to learn that not everyone is going to be as patient or as controlled as his parents. I know its a very outdated thing to be saying but he does need to learn who the boss is and having a gentle talk with him doesn't cut it for this behaviour, this can really grow into abusive behaviour patterns that he takes with him to adulthood. Get angry and stick up for yourself, demand respect and take whatever it is that he owns that he will actually miss.
Circle of security is a program that might help you understand and respond to these behaviours. It sounds like you are a wonderful parent and just need some support to get through this really challenging time. Maybe look up where this program is offered near you or find a family support program that can work with you to manage this behavior.