I’m a single parent with 100% care of my autistic and adhd daughter. She is currently medicated, and we have OT, speech and psych through ndis and all of this is helping but my god it’s still so hard. Her mood is either anxious (from the medication) or wild (once the medication wears off). We are on our third different medication and it is the best one so far and creates the least amount of anxiety but it is still there. I’m worried for her future as she doesn’t seem to socialise when medicated and will just wonder and do her own thing. I’m really struggling with her sticking to my boundaries and respecting myself and my rules. She seems to be a walking mess she can look at something and it will be messy. Her bedroom is soo bad like you can’t even walk in there, she changes clothes multiple times a day, she is just put chaotic and I can’t keep up. I seem to spend all my time cleaning my house and it never seems to stay clean. She will leave my house whenever she is frustrated, she threatens to run away, she will kick my walls or deliberately pour water or anything within reach on the floor. I’m soo tired and soo burnt out. Her therapists are very helpful but it just seems to be we get on top of one thing and then another thing hits. She seems to go through periods where things are good before going bad again and lately the bad periods seem to be getting longer and more frequent. I don’t know what else to do, so many times I’ve thought about calling dhs to find another home for her or that I just don’t want to keep living this life, there just seems to be no end point and at this rate I don’t see her even being a functioning adult. I never get any time to myself, I don’t get to do anything I enjoy, it was my birthday the other week and it was a massive meltdown as she wanted the day to be about her. I don’t really know what I’m asking or anything but I really just need to vent
1 Replies
I am trying to find where you said she was 6?? I will confirm that being messy and wanting to wear every item of clothing is age appropriate behaviour.
However, you sound so utterly burnt out. Is there any family member who could give you a break just to breathe? I do know their are weekend respite foster carers. Although ultimately it would be great if you could access some support through your NDIS coordinator for respite or just to even take her out for an activity for a little while so you can breathe. This needs to be a priority.
I became caught up in the clean house thing too and it is not a good thing as it just adds to the frustration. Let go of the expectation that your house needs to always be clean. A quick sweep, rather than a full vacuum. A song pick-up each day which makes it fun as you make it a game to see how much you can both pick up before it ends. Aim for homely, not for immaculate.
The best advice I was given was make the morning about them. Ignore the housework, take them to the park, swimming or anything that is going to burn off their energy. Then when they are settled in the arvo you tend to get more done.
I hope something in this helps 🙏