Not for Facebook pls.
Calling all Coaches wives.
How do you cope?
So my husband is a natural coach - he is the man that is always willing to put his hand up - all sport, any kid!everyone loves his knowledge, his guidance and his ability to lift and encourage both teams on a field or court.
Across the 4-5 sports our son plays in a year he coaches 3 teams. Which has been all well and good for the last 4-5 years. Parents have enjoyed dropping and running while he puts blood sweat and tears into coaching sport week in and week out.
This year competition started. Suddenly he is the worst person alive to 3-4 parents, all over playing time. I will add equal playing time was given all season until finals. They feel entitled to equal time regardless of the effort their child puts in on the field, the fact they are late to every game (when asked to turn up 45mins before they turn up at game time - whole squad of kids turn up at said time 45mins prior). Now out of a season we are talking 2 games. 2 games they didn’t receive equal game time. Now the reason they didn’t receive equal time is that they do not play. They stand on the field. They do not attempt to get the ball nor will they tackle nor will they be tackled. They are late to every match (no reason or notice given and hit and Miss with training). How they feel that is fair to the rest of the squad is beyond me..
How do you move forward? Especially when 2 of the parents go to the same school and vocally rubbish him and freeze you out completely.
I have said to my husband just don’t coach next season. But the problem is… no one else will… but I’m done. I’m done with the criticism and ongoing drama. Which is always passive aggressive because they actually never complain to your face just behind your back so you have no rebuttal.
2 Replies
How old are the kids? At the start of the season, at the first training session, have a team meeting with the kids and their parents to outline the expectations for the season. If they want equal playing time, then turn up to training and games on time or notify if going to be away or running late. If you can’t get to training or the games, ask if someone can pick up and drop off. It’s not fair on the kids who consistently turn up to training and games to have reduced game time because others are inconsiderate. My son has missed training and games a fair bit this season due to health reasons, but we’ve always let the coach know what’s happening. I was upfront about the impact his health issues can have on his playing and also that he was most likely going to have surgery mid year. There are other boys on the team that don’t notify about absences but then expect to play when they do turn up.
He just needs to make the rules clear and set them out early - is game time shared or is it a competitive team where if you’re not the best and ‘don’t go for the ball’ you get benched. Are there penalties for being late to games or practise. I wouldn’t be happy if it was a fun thing but then they suddenly got competitive and started benching kids for ‘just two games’ which are the big ones, aren’t they? It’s sending a message and impacting the kids enjoyment. It just should be set out clearly from the start, then no issues.