Lonely

I am a mum of teens that are spending time with friends or hanging in their rooms. They’re both autistic so don’t like conversation either.

I have a husband who works, games, sleeps and golf’s on the weekends. He has no interest in having a conversation with me or doing things together. Any things he does say to me, he is criticising me.

My family is very dysfunctional and can be abusive. I don’t have anyone I can call a friend, online or in person. I work from home. I don’t spend time at my kid’s school so I don’t know other parents. I don’t have time to join a hobby or fitness group. I am thankful I have a dog to pat and snuggle with.

I’m finding of an evening that I am wanting some company and conversation. I’ve never really felt like this before. I’m actually a fairly low maintenance person and can spend time on my own easily. I also feel invisible and and invalidated. I don’t have anyone to speak out loud to or who cares what comes out of my mouth. I wish I could turn these feelings on loneliness off! I wish I knew how to have friends.